The Rules

*watching TV, Greg stops on ESPN*

Will: No, I don't wanna watch ESPN.

Greg: You don’t like ESPN?

Will: I have a vague recollection of ESPN before it turned into E! Network, but that was a long time ago.

Greg: You think you can do better?

Will: (Will looks at Greg)

Greg: What?

Will: What?

Greg: What was that look?

Will: What look?

Greg: You gave me a look?

Will: What kind of look?

Greg: I know that look. I’ve seen you make that look before.

Will: Then what was it?

Greg: Why should I tell you?

Will: Well, you're the big look expert. I wanna see how smart you are.

Greg: Trust me. I know the look.

Will: What?

Greg: What about the look?

Will: I don't know.

Greg: You’re up to something.

Will: Sometimes I get some crazy ideas. Don’t you?

Greg: Things occur to me from time to time.

Will: Yeah, me too. Well, you can't keep watching and reading the same old crap from the same old outlets.

Greg: No, of course not.

Will: Yeah, we pretty much know the landscape of the sports media world.

Greg: We know the terrain. It sucks.

Will: No big surprises.

Greg: Nope.

Will: What do you think?

Greg: I don't know. What do you think?

Will: Well, maybe start our own blog, it’s something to consider.

Greg: Yeah.

Will: I mean, let's say we did start one. What’s the big deal?

Greg: What if.

Will: Is that like the end of the world or something?

Greg: Certainly not.

Will: Why shouldn't we be able to offer up what we think – our opinions – once in a while if we want to?

Greg: I know.

Will: I mean, really, what is the big deal? We get on there. (Points to the computer) We type up a column, maybe a couple stories. We log off. It's not complicated.

Greg: It's almost stupid if we didn't.

Will: It's moronic.

Greg: Absurd!

Will: Of course, I guess, maybe, some little problems could arise.

Greg: Well, there are always a few.

Will: I mean, if we end up like all the other lame sites, we're going to be laughed at, and that would be really bad.

Greg: Devastating.

Will: Because different is very good.

Greg: And comedy would be very good.

Will: That would be good too. The idea is to combine sports, comedy and make sure to keep from acting like bitter old beat-writers.

Greg: Yeah, we just wanna take this and add that.

Will: But of course, we'd have to figure out a way to avoid the things that cause the little problems. Maybe some rules or something.

Greg: Huh.

Will: A typical sports journalist has to avoid showing an obvious bias towards one team or another.

Greg: Well why should that be? I have an idea. We can root for our team and cover it at the same time. We're catering to people like us anyway.

Will: Beautiful. Let's make it a rule.

Greg: All right, sir.

Will: Here’s another problem I see. Not only do writers shy away from rooting for their own team, but they don't criticize the opposing team either.

Greg: Okay, okay. So we'll rip on the other team too! Rich Rodriguez sucks anyway, so why not?

Will: Well now we're gettin' somewhere. Yeah, bashing Rich will be fun, but there’s nothing I like better than ripping on Ohio. Remember that one time we beat them?

Greg: Oh, I sure do. What an awesome game to be at!

Will: Yeah, don’t remind me.

Greg: Ohhhh, snap! Don’t worry, I’m sure it looked good on tv.

Will: Fine. Well, how about the way that sports media is so uptight and boring. Nothing fun gets said. It's always "It is what it is" and that other bs. We're going to avoid that.

Greg: Yeah. We're going to cover the team, but we won't be afraid to say what is on our minds. Keep it honest, light, and funny.

Will: Sounds good.

Greg: Alright then. What about criticizing our own team?

Will: With that in mind, let's not be afraid to bash our own team. Hold them accountable, ya know?

Greg: Yes. Everyone treats Penn State football as such a sacred thing, so we can't let them off the hook if they do something stupid.

Will: Yeah, we need to stop celebrating mediocrity.

Greg: Exactly. Why would someone buy an "Alamo Bowl Champs" T-Shirt?

Will: I don’t know, the same reason they keep showing highlights from the ’05 season during games?

Greg: Okay, so that leaves one more thing….

Will: JoePa…

Greg: It seems like people either worship the guy or want him fired.

Will: He's bought himself a lot of leniency with all those past wins and those libraries... but he needs to get back to some consistent winning.

Greg: …and some forward passes.

Will: Whatever, he's the coach and he's a legend. You can't make people out to be the hero one week and the goat the next.

Greg: But if Morelli comes back to watch a game from the sidelines, we can blame anything on him.

Will: Right.

Greg: So you think you can handle this?

Will: Definitely.