Saturday Preview

Just because Penn State's regular season is over doesn't mean we aren't excited about college football Saturdays anymore. Sure, it's not the same as a Penn State football day experience, but today's slate of games should be relatively entertaining, with some big rivalry games. Here's a look five big games on the schedule today, in chronological order.

Georgia Tech @ Georgia, 12:00, CBS
Is this game going to be very exciting? Probably not. Georgia is an 8.5 point favorite over Tech, and frankly, we think that's a little low. Tech has a decent record at 8-3, but 8-3 in the ACC is like 5-6 in an actual conference. The Gameday crew has alerted us this morning that Tech really hates Georgia. Check out this snippet from Tech's fight song:

So then it's up with the White and Gold
Down with the Red and the Black
Georgia Tech is out for a victory
We'll drop our battle axe on Georgia's head, CHOP!

Apparently they don't understand rhyme in Georgia. Anyway, without giving you any real analysis here, we feel Georgia will win this one handily.

Prediction: Georgia 34, Georgia Tech 13


Florida @ Florida State, 3:30, ABC
Can you remember when this game was actually a fierce rivalry? We can, but only vaguely. What happened to teams like FSU and Miami? Did the new ACC just automatically make everyone mediocre upon joining? Florida State is showing signs of life this year, currently sitting at 8-3 after two straight 7-6 seasons, but Florida has been absolutely killing teams ever since they lost to Ole Miss at home in Week 4. In fact, the Gators are averaging 46.5 points a game this year. Look for Florida to jump out to an early lead and never look back, as they are outscoring opponents 146-7 in the first quarter this year. Holy Hell.

If you're a Seminoles fan, it's going to be a long day for you.

Prediction: Florida 52, Florida State 14


Oregon @ Oregon State, 7:00
Here's one that actually matters for us Penn State fans. We all know how this works by now: if Oregon State wins tonight, they go to the Rose Bowl, setting up what we're sure will be an exciting second chapter to the 45-14 beatdown PSU gave them in September (a game that has been mentioned about 0 times in the mainstream media this season, by the way). But if Oregon pulls the (mild) upset and USC wins out, bring on the Trojans, baby.

There's not much between these in-state rivals on paper, as they're both 8-3, though Oregon State holds the edge in Pac-10 play with a 7-1 record (Oregon is 6-2). So what gives the Ducks hope to beat the Beavers (what a matchup of mascots that is...)? Oregon State's great freshman running back, Jacquizz Rodgers, will miss the game due to a shoulder injury. If Oregon can hold the Beavers' passing game in check (something Arizona couldn't do in the last couple minutes last week), they should have a good chance to win in Corvalis.

Prediction: Oregon 23, Oregon State 21


Notre Dame @ USC, 8:00, ESPN
This game really is not all that interesting, except for the subplot of Charlie Weis's eventual termination from his head coaching spot. It's not enough that Weiss is showing that he is a very average coach, but a lot of stories are coming out through mainstream papers and sports talk radio about Weiss being an incredible ass and rubbing a lot of ND alums the wrong way. We just think he's a fat jerk who rode Bill Belichick's coattails all the way to a huge payday and had a good first season with Ty Willingham's players. Either way, he doesn't last another full year at ND, if he even lasts through this year.

And since this game involves USC, let us take the time to mention that we think the Trojans being ahead of Penn State in the BCS is ridiculous. Anyone who says the Pac-10 is head and shoulders above the Big11Ten this year is mildly insane. At the least, the conferences are right on par, at the most, we think the Big11Ten is better this year. Throw in the fact that USC lost to a team that Penn State crushed, and we definitely have an argument to be ranked higher. It doesn't help that Oregon State really turned their season around after the big loss in Happy Valley (whereas Iowa has a mediocre record), but USC being such a high profile program has to help their ranking.

In other news, this game is going to be a massacre.

Prediction: USC 120, Notre Dame 3


Oklahoma @ Oklahoma State, 8:00, ABC
The final game we're previewing is probably the best matchup of the day. Oklahoma State has had a pretty nice season, and they played Texas very closely earlier in the year. If Oklahoma has any sort of hangover from last week's big win, they could have some trouble on their hands. They're not the greatest road team in the world, either.

On the other hand, they have the ability to score 28 points in about six or seven minutes, so if OSU slips up early, it could be over for them just as quickly as it was for Texas Tech a week ago. If Oklahoma does slip up in this one, it would make things way easier for those quirky BCS computers to figure out the Big XII South, but we don't think that's going to happen.

Prediction: Oklahoma 49, Oklahoma State 28

We'll be back next week with actual Penn State news.

The Final Roundup

Time for the final Big11Ten Roundup. There was some thought into comparing what we predicted each team to do versus how things actually turned out, but that can't happen for two reasons.

1. It would embarrass us.
2. We didn't even finish all the team previews.

Slackers we are.

Since we were in State College tailgating for the last game, we didn't really get to see any of the games. That's really going to hurt the quality of the assessment so if you get the "this guy is just reading from the box score" feel from this post, it's probably because we're just reading from the box score.

Indiana: 10 Purdue: 62
Rivals.

You are not reading that incorrectly. This was the weekend of the rout.
You may have heard at some point during the season that Joe Tiller is retiring. While the Purdue season as a whole wasn't very good, at least they gave him a proper send-off as they trounced Indiana and won the Old Oaken Bucket. A trophy like that is what makes the Big11Ten great. It also gives us a chance to share this picture

That picture has nothing to do with anything, except the word bucket.

Anyway, check out the Rivals link. Purdue set a bunch of "hasn't happened since..." records and Kory Sheets moved up the school's career rushing chart. Tiller also said he plans to drink 12-13 Miller Lites.

Wisconsin: 36 Cal Poly: 35
Rivals.

If you are Cal Poly fan, you probably hate kickers right now. Their kicker missed three extra points, including one in overtime. After he missed in OT it was just a matter of time before the Badgers punched one in and won the game. The headline says that Wisconsin dodges the upset, but at this point in the season and the way Wisconsin has played, we're not sure who would have been upsetting who.

PJ Hill went over 1,000 yards for the third straight season, he's only the second Badger to do that.

"PJ Hill for Heisman." - PJ Hill

Northwestern: 27 Illinois: 10

Rivals.

This is game that you'd probably have to see to understand, because we don't. Both teams had comparable statistics in terms of total yardage (Indiana: 335, Northwestern: 339) and neither team turned the ball over too many times to be out of the ordinary. But somehow, Northwestern comes out and wins by 17 and finishes off a good season. The Wildcats end with a record of 9-3 (5-3) and will likely find themselves in a pretty good bowl. No one really expected that to happen.

The Illini, however, will end the season 5-7 (3-5) and miss out on the bowl season. Like many, you might have expected to see this same write-up when the season started, except switch the names of the schools wherever they appear. Northwestern far exceeded any expectations while The Illini failed to live up to theirs.

=(

Iowa: 55 Minnesota: 0
Rivals.

We're not sure how this happened. Minnesota rushed for 7 yards. Iowa for 222. Iowa passed for 261. Minnesota had 127. That must be how it happened.

If you could say one thing about Minnesota this year, it was that their offense was able to perform. Unfortunately for Gopher fans it didn't function at all on Saturday and they ended their tenure in the HHH Dome with a monstrous loss. We'll miss the dome (okay so not really), but no one will miss the epic design flaw on the roof.

Oops.

Despite that loss, however, Minnesota far exceeeded most poeple's expectations for this this season. They end the season 7-5 (3-5) and will likely play in a decent bowl. If the wheels hadn't fallen off during the last four games, all of which they lost, they could have found themselves in a real good bowl and that would have surely been a suprise to everyone.

Regardless of how they finished this season or what they do in their bowl game, it's probably safe to assume that in the coming years, Minnesota may be a team to watch out for in the Big11Ten.

Ohio State: 42 Michigan: 7
Rivals.

Wish we could have seen this one. We wanted Michigan to win so that Ohio State couldn't claim "co-champions" but alas, they couldn't pull it out. Michigan sucks.

Apparently Michigan's defense played well or some garbage, and Ohio State got lucky in scoring 42 points.

Who allows this to take place?

Game 12 Recap: Penn State 49, Michigan State 18

We got up at 6 AM to start cooking a turkey for the tailgate. It was cold as shit then, and it didn't get any better all day. But it was a great tailgate followed by an even better game. Penn State looked like they did earlier in the season, when they would score at will and play suffocating D. It was an excellent performance all around, and the Lions are now Big11Ten champions. And of course there's this:


It feels pretty good. Onto the recap...

1st Quarter

Penn State got the ball to start the game, and after they go three-and-out, we started wondering if this was going to be another slow start for the offense.

Luckily, we started feeling better when Maybin planted Ringer in the backfield for a loss of 2 on MSU's first offensive play. After a false start, Hoyer completed two passes to pick up a first down, but after a 4-yard loss by Ringer, an incompletion, another false start and a sack by Abe Koroma, Michigan State actually lost yardage on the drive and had to punt.

On the next play, those feelings about a slow start began to fade. Clark hit Norwood on a post for 49 yards and it was first and goal at the MSU 10.


Clark hit Williams for no gain and Royster rushed for 5, setting up a third down. On third down, Clark scrambled and waited until the absolute last second before hitting Graham Zug just inside the pylon. Great play by Clark to buy some time.

7-0

The Spartans came out on the next drive and had a third and 4 after a short run and a 5-yard completion to Ringer. But Hoyer was sacked again on third down, this time by Ollie Ogbu and had to punt. Penn State's ensuing drive stalled after five plays and they punted back. But the Lions' D was locked in early, and forced another three-and-out. Great start by the D, especially the line, as Ringer still had negative rushing yards up to this point.

Williams fielded the punt and got to his own 24, but a penalty moved the offense back to the 14. The Lions got four plays in before the end of the quarter.

2nd Quarter

Clark hit Royster on a screen for a 19-yard gain to start the second. After an incompletion and a short run, Clark found Norwood for a huge 26-yard pickup on third and 7. Royster then carried one for 14 yards and after a Clark run went nowhere, Dan Lawlor pounded it in from 4 yards out. 12 plays, 86 yards. Nice drive.

14-0

Michigan State was looking to get something started on their next drive, and early on, they did. The Spartans moved the ball well and picked up three first downs after 4 runs from Ringer and a couple completions by Hoyer. But on first and 10 from the PSU 46, Mo Evans got to Hoyer for an 11-yard loss. MSU couldn't recover from there and were forced to punt again.

That was bad news for Spartan fans, because the Lions weren't going to be stopped. It was looking a little bleak at first, after Stephfon Green was stuffed for a loss of 4 and Clark was sacked for a loss of 3 (both by Greg Jones), but Clark hit Green on a screen that went for 37 yards (and probably would've gone for a score if Green hadn't run into A.Q. Shipley).

After a pass interference penalty, a short run and an incompletion, it was third and 11 at the MSU 29, and Clark stepped up again on third down, hitting Zug for a huge 28 yard gain. Clark took it in for 6 on the next play.

Did you see him stare down the ref after that play?

21-0

Michigan State was probably feeling the urgency at this point. If they didn't score soon, the game could get out of hand. Hoyer came out and completed his first three passes of the ensuing drive. The only problem was that the third one went to Scirrotto. Whoops.

Clark wasted no time and hit Williams for a 32-yard touchdown.

We are lazy photoshoppers.

28-0

Michigan State doesn't quit though (as we would find out more about later), and they took the ball on a 14-play, 76-yard ride for a touchdown before the half.

28-7

Penn State may have held the Spartans to a field goal if it weren't for a ridiculous pass interference call on Scirrotto, but we barely cared. After that first half, we weren't too worried about the Spartans coming back.

-Halftime-

3rd Quarter

Michigan State got the ball to start the third quarter and couldn't get anything going. They converted a first down but then were set back by a false start penalty. A few short plays later and it was punt time.

The Lions fared no better as they went three-and-out.

Not to be outdone, the Spartans went three-and-out.

On the Lions' second possession of the half, things changed.

The offense started on their own 30, but Royster and Norwood quickly ate up 56 yards of grass and put the Lions deep in Michigan State territory. Around this time, one of the broadcasters mentioned that they had not heard anything from Butler this game.

The words were barely out of their mouth when Clark hit Butler on a four yard slant.

35-7

The Lion's weren't stopping, and the Spartans didn't seem to even put up a fight.

On the next drive, the Spartans got a quick first down and then went for blood on the ensuing first down. The Spartans ran a poorly executed trick play to try and jump-start things, but it all fell apart. It was a bold call but Lydell Sargeant was back there and he has a knack for picking off the deep ball -- don't ya, Lydell?

Yes sir.

The play was reviewed because the lateral was forward, the Lions declined the penalty and got the ball at their own four, and Hoyer was left dead on the field. He didn't look injured until he realized the ball had been picked off.

Getting the ball back must have ignited the offense as they ran four plays and got 2 first downs. On the fifth play of the drive it was all Butler.

Clark stepped back, put the ball in the air, the camera panned to the right and what did we see?

Butler in space. 70 yards.
That's six.

42-7

MSU got the ball back and ran five plays before punting.
Somewhere, Michael Moore was taking off that Michigan State hat.

4th Quarter

Devlin started the fourth quarter for the Lion's and we expected a bunch of hand-offs. Instead, they let the guy pass it.

On his fourth attempt, he caught Michigan State excercising their new "stop Deon Butler" scheme.

He was pretty open.

49-7

After that score, PSU went into shutdown mode whenever they had the ball and MSU got 11 meaningless points. We wish they wouldn't have let them get that 2-pt conversion and on-side kick, but we don't even know what guys were on the field when that happened.

So yeah, 49-18.

The big story though was MSU using two timeouts back-to-back with 9 seconds left. We're not sure what they were trying to accomplish but some guy on the post game show was saying the MSU staffers and players were taunting the crowd. We're not sure that actually happened because there was nothing they could taunt us for. I mean, they were losing 49-18. Did this really happen? Did anyone in the stadium see this? Does anyone in the stadium read this?

If it did, they were probably just pissed that there were Roses on the PSU sideline sometime during the third quarter. We wish they had waited until the game ended because it does come off as a bit cocky. Celebrate after the game, guys.

Anyway, what a way to end the season. The fan-base owes a LOT to the guys pictured below. They committed to this school when it was at its worst, and now they have 2 Big11Ten trophies to show for their efforts.

Game.
49-18

3 Big Stat Lines

• Daryll Clark: 16-26, 341 yds, 5 TD (1 rushing)
  
• Senior Receivers: 12 rec., 311 yds, 4 TD
  
• Penn State D: held MSU to 35 yards rushing
  

Our Quick Thoughts On The Game:

• Outstanding play on both sides of the ball by Penn State
• What a game by Daryll Clark. Good to see him close out the season on a positive note.
• Deon Butler is extremely efficient: 3 catches, 3 touchdowns.
• Awesome game from the big three senior receivers overall.
• Maybe we should've predicted this type of game. MSU got crushed by Ohio State and barely beat Wisconsin. They had a nice year, but they didn't beat any great teams.
• Damn, it was cold out there.
• Two Big11Ten titles in four years for these seniors. Not too shabby.
• Doesn't look like Joe is goin' anywhere.
• Five and a half damn weeks until Jan. 1.
  

Penn State Player of the Game: Daryll Clark/Senior Receivers
You can't say enough about the performance of these four. Clark looked relaxed from the start, going through his reads, making solid throws and buying time with his feet. The first touchdown was all his doing. He had a huge day from there on out, and his stats show it. As for the receivers, what a way to go out. Williams made a great catch for a touchdown, Norwood was his old sneaky, speedy self and got into space a number of times and every time Butler touched the football, it went for a touchdown. The offense closed out the season in style, thanks in large part to these guys.

Michigan State Player of the Game: LB Greg Jones
Jones racked up 15 tackles, including 3.5 for loss and a sack. He seemed like pretty much the only Spartan defender that could do anything against the PSU offense. He is a beast for sure.

And finally, give the man some roses:

Game 12 Preview: Michigan State vs. Penn State

Gametime: 3:30 pm

Records: Penn State: 10-1 (6-1), Michigan State: 9-2, (6-1)

Series Record: Tied, 12-12-1 (Penn State leads the Big11Ten series record 11-4)

TV: ABC

Audio: Here

Weather: High of 28 and snow showers. Dress warm.

All the marbles.

We all know what's on the line here. A Big11Ten title. A trip to Pasadena. A little national respect. There have been a lot of big games this season, but as of right now, tomorrow is the biggest.

As for the game, it feels eerily similar to a couple others we've played this year. Penn State is facing off against a Michigan State team that has a stud running back and a passing game that is a bit anemic. Remind you of anyone? Maybe Ohio State and Iowa?

Well, the strategy is the same in this one as it was for those two. Stop the run and make the mediocre quarterback beat you. One time the Lions stopped the run masterfully, and they won. The other time they didn't, and..... you know.

So Penn State's front seven will have to step up and stop arguably the best running back in the conference, Javon Ringer. Ringer's been a beast all year, no doubt, but if the big boys up front can stop him, Michigan State may really struggle to move the ball. Despite Ringer's 140 yards per game this season, the Spartans rank only 8th in the Big11Ten in rushing with 150 yards per game. That stat means they have virtually nothing else besides Ringer to throw at you out of the backfield. On the other hand, they haven't really needed anything else yet. But the objective is clear: stop Ringer and make Brian Hoyer beat you.

We've seen Hoyer in action under center a few times this year. We can hardly say we were impressed. Now, he doesn't have a great receiving corps (we loss count of the drops they had against Wisconsin), but sometimes he makes throws that leave you scratching your head wondering what the hell he was thinking. That's the kind of quarterback we like to see.

Penn State's defense is ranked 1st in the conference in terms of passing yardage allowed, and if they play smart, put some pressure on Hoyer and force a couple turnovers, we think things will be A-OK. Of course you can forget we said all of this if Tom Bradley just drops them back into a soft-ass zone on every third and long like he did against Iowa. For everyone's sake, let's hope the defense comes out aggressive.

As has been the case most of the season, we haven't said much about Penn State's offense. That's because for most of the season, it's been extremely good, and we don't really need to say much. But the Indiana game marked the second straight game that the offense started slowly. Blame Clark, blame the playcalling, blame your drunken friends or whatever you want, but the offense has to come out and set the tone early this weekend. Michigan State is 8-0 this year when they score first, so getting on the board early is going to be key. We have confidence that the offense can come out and put together a nice first drive like they were doing earlier in the season. If they can give a lead to the defense, we like our chances in this one.

And oh by the way, like we said, on paper this game looks a lot like the Iowa game. Except for one huge difference:

Bring it.

Michigan State Player To Watch: QB Brian Hoyer
Ringer is the obvious choice here, but we know he'll get his touches and to win, PSU is going to have to shut him down. So if they do, all the pressure falls on Hoyer. And that would probably be a good thing, as he's completed just 49% of his passes this year (and just 43% the last two games). In the cold weather, against a stout pass defense and a hostile crowd, Hoyer is going to have to play out of his mind in this one.

Penn State Player To Watch: Derrick Williams
This is the swan song at home for a guy who's done more than his fair share to turn this program around from its awful stretch earlier in the decade. His signing and subsequent performance in his first year increased Penn State's exposure and put it firmly back in the national picture as a football school. While his performance on the field was less than stellar at times, we feel that this was less his fault than most people probably think (check out the Roundtable from yesterday). And this is his last chance to make a few more explosive plays before what should be an appreciative home crowd.

3 Bold Predictions:

• D-Will scores another rushing touchdown.
  
• Royster scores two.
  
• Saturday night, we'll be drinking to a Big11Ten Championship.
  

Other Notes

• Ringer's a beast, but we don't think he's better than Shonn Greene.
• It's going to be a cold tailgate.

Okay, we have to admit that we were feeling a little blah about this game earlier in the week. But now that it's almost here, we're pumped. You don't get the chance to win a conference title every year, and to do it at home would be amazing. If Penn State plays up to their full potential, they win easily. Since that's been a bit of an issue lately, we think this one will be close throughout. But they will pull away in the end.

Game Prediction: Penn State 28, Michigan State 14

Blue & White Roundtable: The Final Countdown

Other possible participants:

There is No Name on My Jersey
Tangled Up in White and Blue
W. F. Yurasko
Happy Hour Valley
Black Shoe Diaries
The Nittany Line
Zombie Nation
Nittany Whiteout

1. So, are you freaking out this week? Did you honestly think Penn State would be in this position, going into the last week of the season? How about Michigan State?

Let's start with Michigan State. Let's hope in the DeLorean for a moment and take a look at our preseason preview of MSU. In probably our only decent call of the season, we picked them to go 9-3. Their current record? 9-2. Hopefully after Saturday, we'll be dead on (although we did pick them to beat Cal/lose to Wisconsin, but cut us some slack). And check out this foreshadowing:

Unlike their counterparts in Ann Arbor, the Spartans should strike some fear into the hearts of Nittany Lion fans this year. We play them in the last game of the regular season, and the winner of that match up could be in line for a great conference finish and a big-time bowl game.

So to make a short answer really long, yeah, we expected them to be here.

As for PSU, before the season we figured (like most others) that Ohio State would be the team to beat and that the Lions would probably finish second in the conference and get a New Year's Day bowl. But a few games into the season you could almost see the power shift from Ohio to PA as the Bucks stumbled out of the gate. It was great to watch. So we got that prediction wrong, but we figured at the start that this weekend's game would be big.

And speaking of that game, we're not really freaking out too much. If the team was still undefeated, we probably wouldn't even be sleeping this week. But things being as they are, we're not too nervous. If the team plays up to their potential this weekend, they ought to win. Of course we've said that before this year so we'll see how it goes.

2. What would you like to see more of/less of this week?

Run the ball. You know, there was all the talk about the HD offense but we've all realized what a great thing we have in Royster. He has been consistent all year and there have been a few games where he probably should have been give the rock a few more times.

The HD thing is great and we love seeing things opened up, but when you get to the big show, you dance with who brought ya. Royster has been a beast all year so we'd like to see him continue getting the ball.

3. What are your feelings towards Derrick Williams' career as a Nittany Lion? Has he lived up to the hype? How? If not, who's to blame?

We have some pretty strong feelings on this subject. We were quick to criticize Williams the last two years for being underwhelming. But this season made us rethink a couple things. First, just look at his best two years: his injury-shortened freshman season and this year. It's not like Williams played poorly as a sophomore and junior; he was a solid player. But he wasn't the superstar everyone expected him to be. But when you take a look at those two "down" years, what do they have in common? A quarterback who could be described as inept at best and head-scratchingly awful at worst, and ultra-conservative play calling.

Seeing what Williams has done this year has restored our faith in him as a player. The two times the offense has opened up and he's had a playmaking QB with which to play, he's been outstanding. When the team wasn't throwing the ball downfield, how much could he really do? This offense should've been running through Derrick Williams for four years, and instead they've done it only for a handful of games (including the last couple). If he would have been utilized more, we have no doubt he would've made a bigger impact. Either way, he's a great talent, the program had two stellar years during his career and we wish him the best in his career in the future.

4. The national media is back-pedaling on their summertime pro-SEC propaganda, now saying that conference in overrated. What gives? Haven't we (basically, everyone outside the SEC) been saying that the whole time? How would Penn State stack up against the top few SEC teams, like Alabama, Florida and Georgia, on a neutral field?

On a neutral field, we think Florida is the only team that would really be something to be afraid of. Sure, Georgia and Bama are good teams and could probably beat Penn State because anything can happen when it's just one game. Florida, however, is a whole 'nother animal. They've been killing everyone since they lost to Ole Miss and they don't look like they're about to slow down.

We would love to see PSU play against any of the three because we feel they could beat any one of them. That said, beating one of them is significantly less likely than beating the other two, but we'd still like to see it. If football worked in a series like hockey or basketball, we'd never want to see Florida, but one-game at a neutral site? We'd love the chance.


Lightning Round

1. Daryll Clark throws a pick?
Negative, Ghostrider.

2. Royster scores? How many times?
Yes, twice. We always think he'll score twice.

3. Did you go to any games this year? How many?
One of us went to one game (Coastal Carolina), and except for the Illinois game, we were in State College tailgating for every other game. And we'll damn sure be there this weekend, no matter how much snow falls on the way.

Control Your Destiny: The Conference Championship Outlook

Instead of giving you a batch of links from the college football universe this week, we thought, since the season is winding down, we'd take a look the championship picture in the six BCS conferences. If it were up to us, the Big East and ACC wouldn't be included in those six, and in fact, let's get them out of the way first.

Big East
Contenders: Cincinnati, Pitt, West Virgina
You might be wondering why we're even delving into this, but the thought of another Pitt-Utah BCS game is just too exciting for us to pass up. Frankly, if you look at the standings, there are way more scenarios for this conference than we care to describe, so we'll offer the most likely cases.

Cincinnati will take on Pitt this weekend, and if the Bearcats win, all they need to do is beat Syracuse next weekend and they win the conference. Cincy's only loss came to UConn, and they beat West Virginia. So if WVU wins out (they still have to face Louisville, Pitt and South Florida) and Cincy does as well, they'll both finish with one loss and Cincy will win the tiebreaker. Pitt has the Cincy game, the Backyard Brawl with WVU and UConn left, and they will most likely need to win all three of those to win the conference. Of course, in the Big East, nothing is out of the question. But no matter who wins, we hope they play Boise State or Utah.

Prediction: Cincinnati


ACC
Contenders: Seemingly everyone
Good God, you need a PhD in physics to figure this conference out. Out of the 12 teams in the league, there are a whopping nine who have a conference record of either 3-3, 4-3 or 4-2. In a word: clusterfuck.

Of course the reason for this is that these teams are all evenly-matched. Or in non-political-speak, they all kinda suck. Again, there are probably 1,000 different scenarios, but here are the most likely.

In the Atlantic division, Maryland has the inside track to come out on top. The Terps are 4-2 while Florida State and Wake Forest are each 4-3. Maryland already beat Wake, and if they take care of business against Florida State this weekend, they’ll pretty much wrap up the division. If they lose, then all hell breaks loose. If you want to figure things out from there, feel free. In the Coastal division, Miami is 4-2 and they’re taking on 4-3 Georgia Tech this weekend. The winner of that game will most likely take the division. On a side note, remember when Miami was absolutely unstoppable? What happened? Blame the ACC.

Again, we never encourage you to watch ACC games, as they’re more frustrating than trying to watch Mark May on SportsCenter, who, by the way, would probably rank all the ACC teams ahead of Penn State if he had the chance.

"I'm a massive tool."

But if you must watch the championship game, email us and tell us how it went if you’re still alive afterwards.

Prediction: Maryland


SEC
Contenders: Alabama, Florida
Allow us a moment to rant, if you will. Penn State got ripped a lot for it's soft schedule this season, to the surprise of no one. But mainstream media SEC man-love syndrome does not allow one to take an honest look at the schedule of a team like Florida. Florida has played games against three ranked teams, two of which have been badly exposed as incredibly mediocre (Georgia and LSU), and the other was #25 South Carolina, who your high school's JV squad could probably out-score. Add to that a non-conference slate including powerhouses like Hawaii and The Citadel, and even your mom could tell that schedule is a joke.

We're not trying to take anything away from Florida, they're a helluva team. (They're also a helluva team that lost at home to Ole Miss, but we digress.) We're just saying that there's always a counterargument, and if people want to point out crappy schedules in the Big11Ten, then allow us to do the same to the SEC. Moving on...

There's no longer any need for speculation; the SEC title game is already locked in. It's happening on December 6th, and Florida and Alabama will battle it out for the conference crown and most-likely a spot in the BCS title game. Watching Alabama squeak out some close games and seeing Florida just destroy teams ever since they lost, we will be shocked if the Gators don't win this one. And if there is any justice in this world, Nick Saban won't win a national title.

Prediction: Florida


Big XII
Contenders: Texas, Texas Tech, Oklahoma
Well, half of this conference is easy to predict. In the North division, we believe Missouri is locked in as the winner. The Tigers are 5-2 in the conference and second place Nebraska is 4-3. But even if Missouri were to lose their final conference game to Kansas this weekend and Nebraska ended up beating Colorado, Mizzou would be the division champ as they beat the Huskers earlier in the year. So essentially, Missouri is going to the Big XII title game.

Of course in the South division, things could get a bit more complicated. If Oklahoma knocks off Texas Tech this weekend, the South will most likely have a three-way tie between the aforementioned squads and Texas. If this is the case, check out the conference’s seven tiebreaker rules for a three-team scenario. Two points to make here: 1) how would numbers 6 and 7 ever come into play (because number 5 seems definitive) and 2) we could be wrong on this, but we think number 5 will have to be the deciding factor since all three teams will have beaten each other.

There’s no doubt that a three-way tie would be an absolute mess. Every team will have an argument to be the rightful division winner. But in the end, the computers will decide. Seems fitting, eh? Anyway, we think that if Oklahoma pulls the upset this weekend that they will have the best chance to get in. The win will be fresh in poll voters’ minds, and the loss to Texas seems like a long time ago. We think this scenario is the most likely, and if so, look for the Sooner to take a trip to the BCS title game.

Unless we understood the rules wrong, in which case, disregard everything we said.

Prediction: Oklahoma


Pac-10
Contenders: USC, Oregon State
This one is the most interesting to us, because it has implications for the Big11Ten champ via the Rose Bowl. Honestly, we kinda stopped thinking about Oregon State after they knocked off USC, but if the Beavers win their last two games, they're Pac-10 champs. That's right, a three-loss, #23-ranked team could be headed to the Rose Bowl. Woohoo!

Obviously, we are not happy about this scenario, no matter who wins the Big11Ten. Getting a Rose Bowl win over Oregon State probably isn't going to win you very many national respect points. But the fact remains that Oregon State is the only Pac-10 team who controls its own destiny. USC has one conference game left on the slate, and it's against UCLA, so we're assuming they'll win that one and finish 8-1 in the conference. The Beavers are at Arizona this weekend and face #24 Oregon at home in the final weekend of conference play. Neither of those are easy games, so start rooting for Arizona and Oregon if you care even a little about the Big11Ten's reputation.

Prediction: USC (please, God)


Big11Ten
Contenders: Penn State, Ohio State, Michigan State
I suppose we all know the scenarios by now, but what the hell, let's go over them one more time. Penn State controls its fate, and if they win Saturday against Sparty, then they win the conference. Simple as that. Ohio State is playing Michigan this weekend, so barring an apocalyptic meltdown, they will win and finish 7-1 in the conference. If they win and PSU loses, the Buckeyes are headed to the Rose Bowl, and this blog will probably shut down because we'll be wandering around aimlessly, pondering our broken existence.

Obviously Michigan State needs the most help to win the conference. Since they lost to OSU, they'll need to beat Penn State in the Beav and Michigan to beat Ohio State to have their ticket to Pasadena punched. Since there is about a .0001% chance that both those things happen (notice how we are avoiding the jinx-factor by saying both), we feel this is really a two horse race.

As a side note, should Penn State pull it out Saturday afternoon, Ohio State will claim that they are conference co-champions, since both teams have one loss, even though the Lions will get the BCS auto-bid (a la 2005). We have no idea why the Big11Ten allows this, because it is extremely annoying and makes pretty much no sense, since Penn State beat them straight up this season. Just another lovely quirk of college football.

Prediction: Penn State (duh)

Big Ten Round-Up

Northwestern: 21 Michigan: 14

Rivals

There are a lot of teams winning in Michigan Stadium this year. Add Northwestern to that list. We're far too lazy to look up when it might have been, but it's probably been a while since that happened.

Michigan took the lead going into halftime but never came back out, and Northwestern scored 14 points in the third, getting themselves the win. CJ Bacher threw two TDs in the snow and wind, and Michigan got one of their two TDs as a result of a blocked kick.

We all know things are bad up there in Ann Arbor, but if they can luck themselves into a win against Ohio State, all will be forgiven and Rich-Rod will be hailed as a savior, despite having lost to Utah, Nortre Dame, Illinois, Toledo, PSU, Michigan State, Purdue and Northwestern, all in the same season.

Ohio State: 30 Illinois: 20

Rivals

The Illini had 100 more total yards gained Saturday, with 7 fewer minutes of possession. Their offense was more balanced, passing for 241 while rushing for 214. Ohio State ran for 305 yards, however, making up for a pathetic 49 yards through the air.
But hey, why pass when you don't have to?

Pryor rushed for 110 yards and a score and also passed for one. Beanie piled up 143 yards on the ground, and pretty much played the part of the wrecking ball in this game.

The score is only a 10 point different, but Ohio State pulled away in the second and never really looked back. With rushing totals like that, we can only imagine how painful it was for Illini fans to watch. A lot of those yards were probably, "putting them out of their misery," yards.

Iowa: 22 Purdue: 17

Rivals

If Iowa had gone out and lost this game to a weak as balls Purdue team, we'd probably be pissed. We're pissed either way, because we lost, but if Iowa is going to beat PSU then they better beat up on everyone else too.

Iowa was dangerously close to losing this game, as Purdue drove towards a score at the end of the game. Painter couldn't find a receiver, however, and Iowa got the win. On that final drive, Purdue went from their own 20 to the Iowa 27 in just over a minute and put themselves in a position to win, but just couldn't lock it up.

Oh, and Shonn Greene ran for 211 yards.

Wisconsin: 35 Minnesota: 32

Rivals

We wish we could have seen this game, because it looks like it was a real train wreck in the fourth quarter. When you play for something as cool as Paul Bunyan's axe, easily the coolest trophy in the world, you better have yourselves in check.

Minnesota clearly did not, as they gave up 18 points in the fourth quarter, including 2 safeties and a 5 yard run set up by a horribly timed Minnesota fumble. Of course, this mighty comeback may not have been needed if Wisconsin didn't manage to give up 21 points in the 2nd quarter alone.

Neither of these teams are very good, but at least Minnesota is beating and hanging with teams no one thought they would. Wisconsin has just been a disaster all season after being crowned with all sorts of pre-season expectations.

That's why you play the game though.


A look at the conference championship scenarios is coming tomorrow.

Game 11 Recap: Penn State 34, Indiana 7

It was a rainy day in Happy Valley. We braved the storm to head down to the Sports Cafe. LaVar Arrington showed up. Penn State won. The sun came out after the game. Hot sausage sandwiches all around. It was a solid day.

Apparently Dick Vermeil was in the house.
We suspect his constant crying may have caused the rain.

Onto the recap...

1st Quarter

Indiana got the ball to start the game. We were looking forward to some domination after last week.

Indiana was able to move the ball just past midfield before the Lion's defense was able to put the brakes on them. We thought that might be bad because on a day like Saturday, with the sloppy weather, you knew field position would be huge.

Walking downtown a lot of our talk was about how much Royster was going to get the ball during this game because of the bad weather. On the first PSU drive, Clark came out passing, then ran for nine before Royster got his first touch and was stuffed on third and 1. Bad news.

Indiana was quick to match the PSU 3-and-out with one of their own, and the ball was back in Clark's hands.

By now it was really raining so we thought that a heavy dose of Royster is what we should expect, but we couldn't have been more wrong. Clark threw on 8 of 10 plays as PSU marched out from their own 11 before being forced to punt inside Indiana territory.

Special teams are important on days like today when the weather plays such a big part in the game, and they were able to get the punt downed at the Indiana 2 yard line.

Indiana rushed for two then threw an incompletion.
On third down they attemped another pass but Mark Rubin stepped up and snatched it out of the air.

There were 15 people in the Sports Cafe and they all went nuts.

After the pick you knew the TD was coming. Instead, Clark ran the ball five yards before having it stripped. Indiana recovered the fumble and we were crushed. We know we're probably looking too far into things but we wonder how Clark's head is right now.

We don't think he's feeling that concussion, because he wouldn't be playing if he were, but what's his confidence level at this point in the game? After a down game against Iowa and then coming out and turning it over right away, you have to wonder. Of course, if you're reading this then you know how the game turns out and what Clark does, but right now, as the first quarter is ending, what kind of confidence does the kid have in his game?

2nd Quarter

Anyway, Indiana was pinned deep again and forced to punt after a few plays. Williams fielded the punt at around midfield and PSU was really starting to win the field position game. All they needed was one big play.

On third down, that big play came. Clark and Williams hooked up on a 39 yard pass.

7-0

After seeing what PSU did to bad teams earlier in the season, we were feeling pretty confident after the score.

Indiana had other plays, however. On their second play after the kickoff, Marcus Thigpen took the ball and ran 57 yards for the touchdown.

7-7

You might have gone to the bathroom with PSU up 7-0 and came back to see the score 7-7.

If you ate at the Cafe like we did, you might have gone to the bathroom with the score 7-0 and came back to see the score 34-7.

After the score, PSU marched down the field to the Indiana 23. The drive was going well as Clark dished out a few medium range passes, but an 11 yard loss on a sack set up a 2nd and 21. Royster got 16 of them back on the next down but they couldn't get the last 5.

Kevin Kelly trotted out to the field but he channelled January 06 and couldn't bang it through.


Despite the miss, you have to be pleased with Kevin Kelly's career. He's knocking down records and he's been about as consistent as you could ask a kicker to be at the collegiate level.

After that, neither team could really put anything together. Both teams had drives of seven or eight plays but couldn't get deep enough into the opposition's territory to put points up.
After one of the drives ended, Indiana found themselves pinned at their own one.
The special teams guys were playing huge.

With little time left and the whole field to go, Indiana probably wanted to just play it safe and get the punt away. The Lion's forced a fourth down and Indiana was forced to punt.

Nate Stupar found his way into the backfield and got a hand on the ball, blocking the punt. The ball got past the line and ended up being downed at the Indiana 20, but it was still a huge play as it put the Lion's in position to score before the half ended.

So far the special teams had accounted for a blocked punt and on several occasions, had pinned the Hoosiers deep inside their own territory.

On a day like saturday when the weather is crap, you need that.

Unfortunately, they couldn't move the ball quickly enough and were forced to bring Kelly back out onto the field.

10-7

This time he got it down, and the Lions went into the half up by a field goal.

-Halftime-

LaVar enters Sports Cafe by jumping over 5 full grown men.

No really he was there. He looks like Predator.

3rd Quarter

As close as the first half was, we never really felt like this game was in doubt. And the Lions reinforced that notion by coming out and putting together a nice drive to start the second half.

After a 4-yard run by Royster and a completion from Clark to Williams, Williams added 12 yards on a carry. After a short run and an incompletion, Clark hit Mickey Shuler for 18 and a big third down conversion.

Go Mickey!

One play later, Royster broke 100 tackles on his way to the house.

Blue Royster Cult.

17-7

Indiana came out on their first drive determined to go three and out. And they did. The Lions took over at their own 41. The drive looked promising after a 16-yard strike to Butler and a 17-yarder to Norwood, but it stalled at the Indiana 19. This time, Kevin Kelly was money.

20-7

The Hoosiers thought that three plays weren't enough last time out, so this time they gave six a try. Josh Hull sacked Lewis on a third and five to force the punt.

However, Clark thought Indiana deserved another chance, so he tossed one up into double coverage on the first play of the ensuing drive and it was picked off by Brandon Mosley.

Not to worry, however, because a 2-yard rush by Ray Fisher was sandwiched in between two incompletions by Lewis and PSU had the ball back again. It was obvious that the defense was locked in for the second half.

After a 3-yard carry by Green and an incompletion, Clark converted a third and 7 by scrambling for 17 yards and the first. It was first and goal from the Indiana 9, and after a short run and an incompletion, Clark hit Butler on the slant for 6.

27-7

Another three and out by Indiana, and that was the end of the 3rd. Excellent quarter on both sides of the ball.

4th Quarter

Penn State came out in the 4th looking to extend the lead. But on a third and 10, Clark fumbled for the second time, and the ball was recovered by Indiana. However, satisfied with the trend they started in the 3rd, the Hoosiers went three and out... again.

On the next PSU drive, it was the Stephfon Green show, which is cool, because he can fly.

Green carried the ball 5 times (but only for 9 yards) and had a 13-yard reception. But on a third a seven on the Indiana 36, D-Will tells Green, "It's my turn, freshman." Hand-off to Williams, and he. is. gone.

Dude on the left is pumped.

34-7

And that, ladies and gentlemen, was the game. Each team had two more drives, and no one did anything. If you're counting, Indiana had exactly one (1) first down in the second half.

Game.
34-7

3 Big Stat Lines

• Derrick Williams: 4 carries, 61 yards, 1 TD (rushing); 4 rec, 62 yards, 1 TD (receiving). Now that's consistent.
  
• Daryll Clark: 20-36, 240 yards, 2 TD (passing); 8 carries, 43 yards (rushing)
  
• LaVar Arrington: 1 appearance at the Sports Cafe.
  

Our Quick Thoughts On The Game:

• Maybe one of the more boring games we've ever witnessed involving a 10-1 team.
• Did the walk to the bar from the RV lot suck? Yes.
  
• Were we glad we weren't in the stadium? Double yes.
• Not a huge day for Royster, but a solid touchdown run.
  
• Fumbles on the opposing team's 2 won't fly against good teams.
  
• Nice catch by Williams on the touchdown pass with the defender flying by; the ball wasn't thrown all that well.
• We're extremely glad this game is over.
• Overall Clark played pretty decent, but he did make some mistakes. Still needs to tighten the screws against the Spartans.
  

Penn State Player of the Game: Derrick Williams
It's official: Derrick Williams is really good. We've knocked him in the past for not living up to the hype, but how much of that wasn't his fault? How many times in the last two years had he seen the ball as much as he has in the last two games? He's finally been given the reigns, so to speak, and he's stepping up big-time. It's great to watch. Another rushing/receiving touchdown day for him.

Indiana Player of the Game: Marcus Thigpen
His 57-yard touchdown scamper was the highlight of the day on offense for the Hoosiers.

Game 11 Preview: Indiana @ Penn State

Gametime: 12:00 pm

Records: Penn State: 9-1 (5-1), Indiana: 3-7, (1-5)

Series Record: Penn State leads, 11-0

TV: Big11Ten Network

Audio: Here

Weather: 52 degrees, 70% chance of rain.

We're not gonna lie, we're about 25 times less excited about this game than we were a week ago. But are we taking the RV to State College to brave the rain, support the team and have another solid tailgate? You bet your ass we are.

Sure, last weekend was a huge letdown, and the feeling may be a bit more morose than usual this weekend, but the team is still playing for a Big11Ten title, and what's more, they're playing to keep that title away from the hated Buckeyes. They control their destiny in terms of the conference crown, and that begins this weekend.

Of course, no one is expecting much of a game against the lowly Indiana Hoosiers, who, despite going to a bowl game last year, have won only one Big11Ten game so far this year. Way back in the summer when we were reviewing the stadiums of the Big11Ten, here's what we had to say about Indiana's home field:

Indiana does, in fact, have a football team. They're redoing the turf. John Mellencamp donates a lot of money to them. That's about all we could find. Some schools are just basketball schools.

Try writing a good song, Cougar.

Well, John Mellencamp is kind of a joke, and so are the Hoosiers this year. They're dead last in the conference in both pass and rush defense, and they've given up 38.7 points a game in conference play. The offense is sputtering as well, scoring only 16.5 points a game in their six Big11Ten games.

The Hoosiers could light it up on offense last year, mostly due to super-athletic QB Kellen Lewis. Lewis has been battling injuries all year after some off-the-field issues in the offseason. Unfortunately for Indiana, backup Ben Chappell got nicked up last week, and the starting spot is still up in the air.

Either way, we don't think it's going to matter. There's being cocky and there's being confident. Last week we were cocky. We're pretty sure the Lions won't have an issue in this game. Clark is going play well, Royster is going to run all over people, Williams is going to be a beast. Things will get back to normal.

It will be good to be back in Happy Valley.

Home sweet home.

Indiana Player To Watch: ???
Your guess is as good as ours.

Penn State Player To Watch: Daryll Clark
We all know that he had a bad game last weekend. A lot of columnists, bloggers and fans have been crushing him this week. Let's try to keep things in perspective and cut the guy a break. He's a first-year QB, and he's done an outstanding job leading this team. Sure, he made some mistakes, but he certainly wasn't the only reason Penn State lost the game. Believe us, we're not scared of ripping on our own players, but Clark deserves a little better than that. He's exceeded expectations this year and we hope he goes out and finishes the season playing up to his potential.

3 Bold Predictions:

• Evan Royster will have 120+ yards, and 2 touchdowns.
• Derrick Williams will tally both a rushing and receiving touchdown.
• Big11Ten officials will start to call holding this weekend. Haha, just kidding!
  

Other Notes

• There's still work to be done by the team.
• There's still two tailgates to be had by us.
  

Game Prediction: Penn State 41, Indiana 10

Blue & White Roundtable: "There's a game this weekend?" Edition

Other possible participants:

There is No Name on My Jersey
Tangled Up in White and Blue
W. F. Yurasko
Happy Hour Valley
Black Shoe Diaries
The Nittany Line
Zombie Nation
Nittany Whiteout

1. What's something you noticed during the Iowa game, that you haven't heard anyone else talk about? Could be something good, or bad.

It's surely been talked about, but it was the inability to get off the field on third down. Time and time again, Iowa just kept on driving. If the defense would have been able to stop one of a few third and 5+ yard situations last Saturday, the game is over.

2. We all know Daryll Clark won't lose his starting job, but what should the coaches really do this week? Will they, should they, let the offense open up? Or keep it tight? What will be the repercussions of either?

Go ahead and open things up. All those plays with Williams last week were great to see and for the most part, effective. Why not continue trying it? It's Indiana so they should not need to do anything wild, but hey, that was Iowa and they should not have had to do anything wild.

Stay sharp for Michigan State.

And is this "Clark should not be the QB," mentality really creeping into peoples heads?
Really?

3. If Penn State does win out, and faces USC in the Rose Bowl, what will the media folks say before the game? If PSU wins? If PSU loses?

Looks like we were already caught looking ahead once. Not gonna do it again.

Lightning Round

1. Penn State comes out focused, or flat this week?
Focused.

2. Will Pat Devlin finally play again?
No.

3. What could happen first: Notre Dame in the Big Ten, or a College Football Playoff?
The apocalypse.

Weekly Top 5: Best State College Bars (and the worst)

This week our Top 5 list is the "Best Bars in State College."
Remember, this is just opinion!

Yeah, it's not football related, but people are down about the football business right now so we thought we'd do something that would be fun. Comment, criticize, whatever. You're probably going to hate us when we bash your favorite hang out later in this post.

The preview and BW Roundtable will also be up tomorrow.

Onward with the bars, from 5 down to 1.

5. The Lion's Den

We don't get there often, but we love the fact that you can be outside yet still be inside. It's a good place to go if the lines aren't halfway to The Deli. We like chilling in the basement where you can get away from the loud music upstairs if you need to. Oh, and they had hockey on TV when we went in during Blue/White Weekend. That's always a plus.

4. Sports Cafe

Okay so it's not the same Sports Cafe it was when we graduated in 06. It was great then because it was never all that crowded and, in most cases, whatever you wanted to see was on TV. It's not the kind of place you'd go if you wanted to drink, but it was a great place to go if you wanted to watch some obscure sporting event -- it seemed like they had every channel.

And what's better than sitting out on the patio at the end of spring semester? As long as that bearded homeless guy didn't try and reach across the wall and grab your nachos, it was a great place to be.

3. Pickles

We were skeptical the first time someone wanted to go to Pickle's. The first time we heard anything of it was when someone described it as "frat-tastic." Well, that label might be correct, but it's still a good place, and usually our number one choice to go watch games when we can't get into the stadium (which is almost every game). Multiple TVs, a big bar so you don't have to wait too long, good beer selection and a fair amount of seating as long as you get there relatively early. It's not generally a place we go for a night out, but its performances on Saturdays is good enough to land it at the number 3 spot.

Not a bad place to watch the game.

2. Beulah's/Bar Bleu

Most people probably haven't in Bar Bleu. But you know what? It's nice, it's clean, they have good drinks, lots of seating, lots of TVs, a pool table and you can talk inside without screaming! That's a lot of positives.

They also have those big 'ol fish-bowls for your mixed drink needs. Who doesn't love that? Add a half price happy hour from 9-11, which is perhaps the greatest time ever for a happy hour, and you can have yourself a nice start to your night.

We just like being able to go somewhere in that town where you can just chill out, since at most places, you can't -- it's just too loud and crowded.

And for clarity's sake, we usually hang out in the upstairs part, which we guess is technically Beulah's, but no one calls it that and neither do we.

1. The Phyrst

To most people, The Phyrst needs no explanation.

Between Table Wars, The Phyrst Family Band and Free Fry Night, it seems that the Phyrst is the place to be any day of the week. It's like hanging out in your basement because of the low ceiling and you're likely to break your knees trying to get in and out of those stupid picnic tables, but there's really no other place we'd rather be. Combine the seemingly nightly live music with the atmosphere and that Dark Side of the Moon you've been drinking from your personal stein, and the Phyrst is a clear-cut choice for number one. It's Graham Spanier approved.

If you're a student, you must get down there on St Patrick's Day and wait in line from 2am-6am. It was probably one of the dumber things we've ever done because those mid-March nights can get pretty chilly, but it was well worth it once we got inside.

The line to get in the Phyrst on St. Patty's Day, approximately 4:30 am.

Honorable Mentions: The Skellar (gotta love that crazy-eyed bartender by the pool table- we're pretty sure he never goes home) and the Crowbar. Yeah, we know the Crowbar has been closed for a while, but it's still holds a special place in our hearts. We liked it so much we made a facebook group.

And now, for the worst, from least suckage to most suckage.

5. The Saloon

Maybe some of you would disagree with us. It's obviously a wildly popular place, and yeah, we do enjoy the Monkeyboys as much as anyone else, but this was better when we were actually in college and didn't mind not being able to move and sweating our balls off. Now that we're out of school, the thought of standing in a 20-minute line just to be annoyed and not get a drink doesn't appeal to us anymore. Kudos to the bar since in snatched up Velveeta after the Crowbar closed, but that's not enough to pull us in.

4. G-Man

We're not going to lie, we've only been to the G-Man once, and that was only one of us. But that one time resulted in wild puking and a trip to the hospital with food poisoning because the wings. Bad times. Haven't been back since and don't plan on it.

3. The Gaff

Probably the weirdest place in town. Horrible music, really weird crowd, no real theme or feel to the place. Does that sound like a place you want to go to?

Pull that tap handle for bad times.

2. Cafe 210

We're not sure why people wait in lines so long to get into 210, but that alone is reason enough for us to dislike it. It's hard to think of a more boring place, but somehow people wait in line forever to get in there, and inevitably we make fun of them when we walk by. The Long Islands aren't that good.

1. The Cell Block

You know, I don't think we've ever been there, but since it replaced the Crowbar and isn't the Crowbar, we hate it. The Crowbar was the best. They had nickel nights, Velveeta, great shows coming through all the time. Just an awesome place, and every time we see Cell Block, which is now a shitty dance club, it kills us.

Special Honorable Mention- The Last Place In Town We'd Ever Attend Award: Indigo

Current Penn Staters know it as Indigo, but it will always be Players to us. There are a lot of reasons to despise this place. The unbelievably long lines to get in, the awful music pouring out of the open door, or because it's a gathering place for guys like these. But let's focus on the line, which is easily the most insane line in the history of State College. When the thing stretches down near The Diner, we're not sure why more people join it, but they always do. We secretly believe that no one ever gets inside. We've never really talked to anyone who's been in there. But one thing is fo sho: we'll never be inside. Enjoy the wait, we'll take cheap drinks and a seat at the bar somewhere else.