Game 9 Recap: Penn State 13, Ohio State 6

How crooked was that "O" behind the end-zone? How sweet was the mini S-Zone in the corner?

Man did it feel good to type the score of this one in the title. As we said last night, it wasn't pretty, but at this point, who cares. A win is a win, and when you're playing Ohio State at night in the Horseshoe, you'd take a 3-2 victory and be thrilled about it.

For most of the night, this game was dead even, and you could sense that it would take one huge play from either side to win. In the end, it came in the form of an incredibly untimely turnover by a true freshman QB (and the one of the wildest scrambles to recover a ball that we can remember).

And oh by the way, to the rest of the country, you are welcome. You won't have to see Ohio State in the National Championship again this year. We're happy about it too.

Onto the recap...

1st Quarter

The first quarter was the most boring quarter of football we've seen all season. Both teams seemed to be sort of feeling things out as both defenses really locked things down.

Ohio State started with the ball and seemed to start moving the ball pretty well, but after a few incompletions it was time to punt.

PSU had two big plays on back to back first downs and our hopes were high we might see a first possession score, but two incompletions and a sad run led to a fourth down and a punt.

For Ohio State's second drive, PSU stacked the line against Wells and forced the game onto Pryor. It would be a theme all night as Ohio State tried to force the run, PSU stuffed them, and Pryor was forced to throw.

It worked this time and Ohio State was forced to punt after only 7 plays.

Ohio State probably would have tried the same tactic, but PSU didn't even bother trying to run, and was also forced to punt rather quickly.

And so ended the most boring quarter ever. Yeah, this is the Big Ten.

2nd Quarter

The short drive theme continued as three more drives started and ended before either team could get very far into the other team's territory.

Our hearts were broken once though. After Jeremy Boone pinned Ohio State at their own 3, Pryor was able to complete a 53 yard pass to a wiiiiiide open Dan Sanzenbacher. Somehow he disappeared into the secondary and took the catch to the PSU 41. We couldn't believe it, Pryor isn't supposed to do things right. We wanted that safety.

It didn't matter though, as Beanie wasted two rushes and Pryor threw another third down incompletion. Boeckman for Heisman, right?

OSU punted and PSU started at their own 11. Pretty crap field position.

The Lions nickel and dimed their way out to about their own 30 before, on a first and ten, Clark hit Graham Zug of all people for 49 yards. Like Sanzenbacher before him, Zug slipped unnoticed into the secondary and found himself wide open. We were thrilled and disappointed at the same time because while the gain was great, had Clark put a little more oomph on that it would have been 6.

Great play nonetheless, and things were finally looking to get going.

Okay so maybe not, three players later it was fourth and 4 and Kevin Kelly trotted onto the field.

He is money, in case you forgot, and banged one through for three.

3-0

On the ensuing kickoff, OSU returned it to their 39 yard line. Not good.
OSU started the drive with about a minute and a half left, they could not be allowed to score.
An incompletion and a false start followed and we thought we were going into halftime with the lead, but Pryor moved the ball 10 yards and got a new set of downs.

Fortunately, Aaron Maybin hit the right-bumper a couple times then got the User Sack and OSU took a loss of 9 yards.

Once again, it looked like things were about to end, when Pryor hit Robiskie for 33 yards. Dammit.

Finally the Lions were able to put the brakes on their drive and forced them to kick the field goal.

3-3

Lebron was pumped.
Remember though, just because something is expensive doesn't mean it won't look retarded on you.

-Halftime-

This is not the game you were looking for.

3rd Quarter

Penn State got the ball to start the 3rd, and as Kirk and Brent alert us that the O-line got a bit of a tongue-lashing during halftime, Royster rushed the ball for 9 yards, then quickly picked up a first down on the next play. That's more like it.

Clark then hit Butler for 4 yards, which was followed by Stephfon Green scampering for 12. With a first down near Ohio State territory, Williams rushed for a yard, and then thinking you had a flashback to 2006, Royster got stuffed on a draw. On third and 7, a draw by Clark picked up only two yards, and it was time to punt. Maybe not the best call on third and 7.

Boone let loose with another fine punt (he had a very solid night out there in a game that was mostly a field position battle), pinning the Buckeyes at their own 9.

As the drive began, we fully expected another solid defensive stand. So with every frustrating play Ohio State put together, our blood pressure went up just a little bit more.

The drive started with Wells carrying it four straight times. Pryor then completed three consecutive passes, which, let's face it, is about two too many for him.

After a short run by Wells, it was third and 7 for the Buckeyes. Pryor tossed one on the sideline to Robiskie, and it looked like he was out of bounds. But the replay showed that he somehow got a toe down, and the drive continued, as remote controls were thrown across rooms in the houses of Penn State fans everywhere.

But in a game where absolutely everyone looked tense, Tressel went super-conservative, running Wells three times for just 7 yards, and Ohio State had to settle for a field goal.

As annoying as that drive was, it was absolutely huge that the D held them to 3 points.

Don't Grammatica yourself.

3-6

Luckily, Penn State came out and put together a nice drive on their next possession. Clark scrambled on the first play and turned a 1-yard gain into a 7-yard game after he dragged a dude behind him. Green picked up the first on the next play with a 5-yard run.

Clark then took over, hitting Butler for a 7-yard pickup, Williams for 12, and then he took off on a QB draw for a huge 14-yard pickup, putting the Lions in field goal range (or so we thought).

Clark then went for the home run, trying to hook up with Williams on a wheel route inside the 5. Williams made a sweet catch, but couldn't get a foot down. On second down, Clark fired one high over Graham Zug as the quarter came to a close.

We think maybe a run would've been a better call there, because you probably pick up a couple yards and aren't staring at a third and 10. Then again we're guys in our mid-20s who write a blog.

4th Quarter

After the longest commercial break of our lives, we wondered what brand of genius Galen Hall had up his sleeve for a third and 10 in the 4th quarter. He treated us to a shovel pass.

Actually it wasn't a horrible call, and Royster was mere inches away from picking up the first. But that bastard Heyward grabbed his foot and tripped him up. Kevin Kelly trotted out to tie the game. Before the ball was even snapped, you somehow knew what was going to happen.

Wide right.

And that's the most pissed off we've been all year.

As Ohio State took over possession, the Lions needed to get the ball back immediately. When Pryor scrambled for a first down on third and one, you could almost feel this one slipping away. It was obvious Tressel was going to run the ball until Penn State stopped it, and Wells took two carries for 9 yards.

Then, it was the biggest third and 1 of the season. Instead of diving behind the line and picking up the first, Pryor tried to break the game open. And then Mark Rubin answered everyone's prayers:

When you saw that ball pop out, your night went from miserable to euphoric in .02 seconds.

While the ball was on the ground, Tyrell Sales made the most heads-up play in the history of sports, batting the ball forward to knock it away from Pryor, as he knew he couldn't grab it himself. A couple heart-stopping seconds later, Bowman (who was huge all night) fell on it.


Momentum: shifted. Huge play by the D, HUGE mistake by Pryor.

Now everyone was pumped. It was Penn State ball at the Ohio State 38. Royster took the hand-off from Clark for a big 9-yard pickup. Wait a second...that wasn't Clark...

Why the hell is Devlin in the game? We're still not sure, although Clark looked a little woozy after a hit he took during the last drive. Whatever the case, it was Devlin out there running the offense.

The next play was Pat's only pass attempt of the game, and while he didn't connect with Derrick Williams, Williams drew a pass interference penalty that put the Lions at the Ohio State 14. Royster ran one for 2 yards, followed by Green going for 6. And on a huge third and 2, Royster cut one outside and danced past the first down marker and out of bounds. We let out the biggest sigh of relief ever (up to that point, anyway).

It was first and goal at the 2, and it was time to take one in, Paterno style. A hand-off to Dan Lawlor went for 1 yard, and a Devlin sneak was stuffed. The second sneak, however, was good.

A.Q. was a happy man.

10-6

Ohio State got the ball back, looking to make up basically handing the momentum to the Lions on the last drive. Pryor wasted no time, hooking up with Hartline for 15 yards. The next pass downfield to Robiskie looked like it might be caught, but Lydell Sargeant made a nice hit to break it up. Wells carried the ball for 6 yards on the next play, and then Pryor was stopped short on a scramble. A huge stop by the D.

Penn State started its next drive at the Ohio State 37, and it was time to let Royster go to work. A rush for 3 and a 15-yard facemask penalty. A rush for 10, timeout Ohio State. A rush for 9, timeout Ohio State. A sneak by Devlin for 2, timeout Ohio State. We do believe that was their last timeout.

Three short rushes by Royster could not pick up a first, but the team was well within field goal range to go up by 7. This time, Kelly's kick was true.

13-6

Kelly then came up huge on the kickoff with a touchback. 1:07 left on the clock.

Pryor fires his first pass out of bounds for an incompletion. You relax a bit. On second down, he hits Ray Small for 14 yards. You tense up again. After a spike, there's another incompletion. You relax a little. On third, Pryor hits Small again, this time for 14. You scream obscenities at Ray Small, a dude you'd never even heard of a minute ago.

After a quick spike, it was second down from the Penn State 43. 36 seconds left. The ball was snapped. Maybin applies pressure from the outside. Pryor rolls right and lofts one towards the end zone. Brian Hartline was in the area. So was Lydell Sargeant:

Game.

13-6



awwwwwww

How's that one taste?

3 Big Stat Lines

• Evan Royster: 19 carries, 77 yards
  
• Penn State D: held Ohio State to 61 yards rushing (!)
  
• Brent Musberger: 8 counts of gushing praise for Pat Devlin handing off the ball, 1 count of calling Clark "Norwood", 3 counts of being plain senile
  

Our Quick Thoughts On The Game:

• It can never be easy against Ohio State.
• Zero turnovers on the road.
• We've never witnessed a game played more tentatively by two teams (coaching staffs included).
• Clark made some very questionable throws, but he managed to avoid the big mistake, which is more than we can say for another QB in this one.
• That said, Pryor is a good QB, especially for a true freshman. Still a douche, though.
• Okay, so Devlin didn't really do anything, but its gotta be tough to enter a game of that magnitude ice cold in the 4th quarter.
  
• Thanks for those 30 free penalty yards in the 4th, Buckeyes. Much appreciated.
  
• Insane game by the D as a whole. Odrick, Sales, Rubin, Maybin, Sargeant and Bowman all made huge plays at one time or another.
• Beanie Wells: 55 yards on 22 carries.
  
• Annoying overused stat of the week: Penn State hasn't won at Ohio Stadium in 30 years. Know how many games were played there at that time? Seven. A little misleading.
  
• God it feels good to beat Ohio State.

Penn State Player of the Game: Mark Rubin
This really could go to a number of guys on the defense, but Rubin made the biggest play of the night, in addition to finishing with 11 tackles. Not only did he snuff out a sneaky move to the outside by Pryor, he popped the ball loose and completely changed the course of the game. Gotta give him the game ball, because that sequence basically won the game for Penn State.

Ohio State Player of the Game: The Defense
No one player stood out for the Buckeyes. No one really stepped up and made that huge play that they need to make to win the game. But the defensive unit was stout for the most part, holding the conference's best offense to 13 points and only 281 yards. It just wasn't quite enough.

Honorable Mentions: Punters Jeremy Boone and A.J. Trapasso
Hey, it's not often we mention the punters, but in such a low-scoring field position game, they had a chance to affect the game and they both stepped up nicely. Each put three punts inside the 20, and Boone pinned OSU on their own 3 in the first half. Trapasso absolutely bombed one early on for 59 yards. Take a bow, punters. Nice games from both of you.

Game 9 Preview: Penn State @ Ohio State

Gametime: 8:00 pm

Records: Penn State: 8-0 (4-0), Ohio State: 7-1 (4-0)

Series Record: Ohio State leads, 12-11

TV: ABC

Audio: Here

Weather: 51 degrees, 20% chance of rain.

The dreaded Horseshoe.

Gameday will be there. Herbstreit can barely contain himself.

Words cannot describe how we're feeling going into this game. It's a strange combination of emotions: excitement, nervousness, anger and most of all, trying not to pee ourselves in anticipation. We don't even know what that means, that's how crazy this game is.

Look, we sort of hate it when people define a team's season by just one game. It's just not fair. To be frank, this team has already surpassed our expectations for this season. Before the season, we thought a two-loss campaign would be great. We weren't being pessimistic, just realistic. But here we are, 8-0 and a 2.5 point favorite against Ohio State in the Horseshoe. Eight weeks ago, we would never have believed it. So when we say this game is pretty much the whole season, we mean it.

We can't stand Ohio State. They're smug as hell, their coach is a ninny in a sweater vest, they think they're king shit, and they don't even recognize how much we despise them, which only pisses us off more. And let's not forget what their last three massive choke jobs have done to the reputation of this (semi) good conference.

So the Lions have a job to do tomorrow night in Columbus. They have to go out there and beat the Buckeyes in their own back yard not just to continue this improbable run, but to give a shot to someone else from the Big11Ten to make some noise on a national stage. Ohio State had their shot(s), and they blew it big time.

Now it's our turn.

That's probably as preachy and sentimental as you'll see us get (of course we make no promises). Onto the actual game analysis.

Usually we like to give you a look at both teams and how they match up against one another. But this week we're going to change it up. We all know that our offense is stout. If they can get some momentum early against the Ohio State D (which is not easy, because it is an extremely good defense), we think they'll be alright. Where this game will be won for Penn State is on the defensive side of the ball. On that note, let's take a closer look at the weapons that the Lions will have to contain tomorrow night:

Beanie Wells: Public Enemy #1

We use that nickname for Beanie only with deepest apologies to Maurice Clarett.

Hey, we're not sure if you heard this or not, but Beanie Wells was battling an injury earlier this season! Whoa! Despite that, he is averaging almost 124 yards a game this year, and he just torched Michigan State for 140 and 2 TDs. There's no doubt about it, the guy's a beast. He is huge and he will punish defenders all day long. But he's also very speedy for his size and can make quick cuts when he needs to. He's a tough man to bring down.

Stopping Wells is the key to this game. Ohio State can usually throw out a pretty balanced offensive attack, but this year, everything relies on the ground game. Of course QB Terrelle Pryor is a big part of that too, but stopping Beanie is where Penn State needs to start. Ohio State is dead last in the conference in passing with only 140 yards a game. The Buckeyes hung 45 on MSU last weekend, but Pryor only had 116 passing yards. So the objective is clear for the Lions: stop Beanie on the ground, and that will be a huge factor in winning this game.

Terrelle Pryor: He's Good, But He's Still A Freshman

"I called this press conference to announce...nothing."

What a dick. This guy fits right in at Ohio State. But putting that aside, like we said, the D can't worry only about Wells, they have to watch Pryor on the zone read and scrambling from the pocket as well. The guy does not seem to be that fast, but he has a very smooth running style where he'll lull you to sleep and then burn past everyone on the field. We hate to play the role of Captain Obvious here, but Penn State absolutely has to make Pryor make plays with his arm.

This kid is a true freshman, and while he's done a good job so far, he is the living definition of "game management." Not to mention, he looked lost at times in the backfield during the Wisconsin game, and we can't count the number of times he's held onto the ball too long this season. Let's see what he can do in a HUGE game, under big time pressure. If he can win this one against a very solid Penn State D, kudos to him. But if he's gonna beat you, make him do it with the arm.

James Laurinaitis: Just Stop Talking About Him Already

You've got to be kidding.

Okay, so we cheated, he's not an offensive weapon. Yes, he is an outstanding defensive player, but for God's sake, can the media stop blowing him for one second? Also, if we see another shot of his Dad in the stands, we're going to vomit. And who allows himself to be photographed like that? Ugh.

Ohio State Player To Watch: RB Beanie Wells
Again, a very obvious pick, but is there anyone more important to the Buckeyes' success? If you say Pryor, you're lying to yourself.

Penn State Player To Watch: Daryll Clark
Pryor isn't the only one who may have to make some big plays through the air. Clark has been nearly flawless all year. Can he keep up his stellar performance in this monster of a game? The dude has shown tremendous poise all year, and we don't see any reason why that will stop this weekend. Besides, he's got a ton of weapons out there. Just avoid the big mistake (ask Morelli about that).

3 Bold Predictions:

• Kevin Kelly ties the Big11Ten record for career field goals after he boots two in this one (suck it, Mike Nugent!).
  
• Royster will outgain Beanie.
  
• Our hair will be gray on Sunday morning.
  

Other Notes

• In case you haven't heard 4,000 times this week, Penn State is 0-7 at the 'Shoe as a Big11Ten member.
• BREAKING NEWS: Mark May just picked Ohio State to win. Shocker.
  

Well, what else is there to say about this one? We're just gonna buckle in and try not to have a heart attack. It's gonna be a hard-fought game, no doubt, and Ohio State is a very good team. But like we said, they had their chance. This year we're the better team, and the guys are going to prove it tomorrow. They win in a close one. Then it's party time:


Game Prediction: Penn State 27, Ohio State 17

Blue & White Roundtable: Armageddon

For the first time ever, questions are coming from us this week. If you think they suck, give us a break! It's our first try.

Other possible participants:

There is No Name on My Jersey
Tangled Up in White and Blue
W. F. Yurasko
Happy Hour Valley
Black Shoe Diaries
The Nittany Line
Zombie Nation
Nittany Whiteout

1. Was Ohio State's blowout of Michigan State last weekend an anomaly or are the Buckeyes "back"?

No team is ever "back" after one big game. We feel it's more a situation of whether or not they ever left. Sure they had some slow games against some less than stellar teams, but Ohio State is always going to get everyone's best game. No one forgets to show up when they play the Buckeyes. There's a better chance they forget to show up when they come to play you.

Take into consideration the loss of Wells and the addition of Pryor and it's safe to say this team was going to be going through some growing pains, even if pretty much the entire rest of the roster is returning from last season.

The defense of OSU never left and the offense needed a period of adjustment, but we think it's safe to say that after Michigan State, the Buckeyes are properly adjusted and ready to go. They're a very good team, a dangerous team, and one that could ruin 2008 for us.

So yeah, I guess they're back.

2. What can Penn State do to avoid a slow start in this game?

Well that's easy: score early and stop Ohio State after scoring. Who came up with these questions anyway?

But seriously, it's imperative that the Lions get off to a good start against this team. If they can get a lead, it's going to put so much more pressure on the Ohio State offense (and that quarterback kid who's running it). Come out, let Royster control the first drive, make a couple solid throws and get some points on the board. Plenty of time to open the playbook up from there.

And on defense early on, all they should be worried about is stopping the run. DO NOT let the Buckeyes establish the run game, or it could be a long night. The more Penn State forces Pryor to make plays with his arm, the better their chances. Concentrate on those things early, and hopefully they'll avoid the early game letdown they had last weekend against Michigan.

3. Why is Ohio State ranked ahead of Penn State in the computer rankings? And why is every media member and his brother picking Ohio State this week?

Thanks Blue and White Roundtable Question writer person, that is an excellent question!

Honestly! Why are they?!

Ohio State has a loss.
Penn State does not.
Penn State has been convincing in every win.
Ohio State has been shaky against much lesser opponents.
Ohio State was smoked by USC.
USC lost to Oregon State.
PSU rolled over Oregon State.

Isn't relating common opponents one of the big things with the computer polls?
Who's running that show over there?

"Don't worry guys, I fix it."

As for why people are picking Ohio State? We really don't have an answer to that either. Probably because they expect Ohio State to be used to playing in and winning big games.

Oops.

Yeah, we reused a picture in back to back posts.

Make no mistake about it though, Ohio State is a good team again this year. They're always going to be good and there's no real reason they can't win this game.

Do we expect them to? No.

But that doesn't mean they can't, and if you're looking in from the outside, it's probably really easy to see a veteran Ohio State team that has dominated the past couple years, and pick them.

Lightning Round:

1. Who gets more TDs on the ground, Clark or Pryor?
Clark.

2. If the winner of this game wins out, will they get a shot in the BCS title game?
Yes and No.

3. Does dotting the I even compare to our drum major doing flips?
No. Some fat tuba player just standing there can't match the flip. The flip at least takes athletic ability.

The Great Debate

Kirk Herbstreit: Good evening readers. Tonight we've rounded up the coaches of the Penn State Nittany Lions and Ohio State Buckeyes. We thought we'd get them together for a nice debate and a discussion about this weekend's coming game. Because I went to Ohio State and have an incredibly odd infatuation with Penn State, We Want the Lion has chosen me as moderator.

Now, without further ado, please welcome Jim Tressel and Joe Paterno!



Herbstreit: Good evening gentlemen. Now, on with the questions. Coaches, why do you think the computer polls have Ohio State ranked ahead of PSU in the BCS?

Paterno: Ah, I don't even know how they work, I mean, I,I, I don’t even have a computer!

Tressel: Well we have a stellar program here at THE Ohio State University. We have a lot of great young people who go out and work hard, week in and week out. Also, the fact that we may or may not pay them probably helps our computer ranking.

Herbstreit: What can each of you do to sway the voters to vote for your school in the polls?

Tressel: Well, Kirk, you really have to appeal to what matters most to these folks: money. So we'll probably have an Escalade or two sent out to the important voters out there across the country. It's no big deal, Terrelle has three of them already.

Herbstreit: Coach Paterno, what can you do to sway the voters?

Paterno: Uhhh, win, you dumbass.

Herbstreit: Let's move on to this weekend's big game. Coach Paterno, what do you think about the Ohio State squad this year? How can you win this weekend?

Paterno: Oh ya know, they got a great bunch of kids over there. We’re gonna hafta go out there and play hard, that’s just a great group of kids and they’re a good, solid football team.

Herbstreit: And Coach Tressel, are you excited about the fact that, with a win this weekend, you could possibly have a chance to blow another huge game against a big conference opponent at the end of the year?

Tressel: Watch it, Kirk. You don't want to see me angry.

Tressel: Alright, so it's not that scary.

Herbstreit: Coaches, what might each of you do to fix the BCS?

Tressel: Except for including teams from the SEC, I’d say it works perfectly.

Paterno: I, I, I’m not sure what this BGS is, but anything’s better than letting the President decide the winner. That bastard Nixon….

Herbstreit: Coach Tressel, what’s your impression of your freshman quarterback, Terrelle Pryor?

Tressel: Well I think he has a tremendously bright future in front of him, much like other highly touted freshman from this great university’s past.

Paterno: You mean like this guy?


Tressel: No comment.

Herbstreit: Coach Paterno, how would you describe your coaching staff?

Paterno: Ahh well Kirk, ya know they’re a great bunch of kids.

Herbstreit: But coach, some of your coaches, like Tom Bradley, have been at the school for over 30 years!

Paterno: Ahh that Bradley’s a good egg, he’s gonna have a great career someday.

Herbstreit: Anyway, Coach Tressel, how would you characterize your staff?

Tressel: We’re a team of mavericks, Kirk.

Herbstreit: Moving on…Coach Tressel, what effect do you think the raucous Penn State student section will have on your Buckeyes this Saturday?

Tressel: Kirk, the game is at Ohio State.

Herbstreit: Speculation aside, you have to admit that Penn State’s student section is the best in the nation.

Paterno: Didn’t you play at Ohio State?

Herbstreit: Uhhhh....Coach Tressel, walk us through a game day with you. What's your routine like?

Tressel: Well Kirk, to be honest, I spend most of the day picking out my sweater vest.

Paterno: But you only have two different colors, you ninny!

.

Herbstreit: Coach Paterno, please let Coach Tressel finish.

Tressel: Thank you, Kirk. After I pick out the vest, I just make a couple quick calls to the boosters to make sure the money is being doled out according to... I mean, just to say hello, and then I get ready to fire the guys up.

Herbstreit: And what is your game day routine like, Coach Paterno?

Paterno: Basically I spend all morning trying to crap, then I catch the elevator to the booth for the game.

Herbstreit: Fantastic! Continuing on with you, Joe, what is your opinion of sideline reporters?

Paterno: Well it depends on what she looks like.

Herbstreit: Okay gentlemen, now it's time to take a couple questions from the audience. First up is Dan, from Princeton, New Jersey.

Dan: Coach Tressel, why are you such a smug bastard?

sigh

Herbstreit: Let's move on. Here's Brett from Indiana.

Brett: Coach Paterno, how does this compare to other big games in your past?

Paterno: Well I remember back when I was just starting out as the head coach here we had a big game against, oh, what was that school, the uh Western University of Pennsylvania and it was a big one! We were undefeated and they were undefeated and they had a couple a real good kids. Great buncha players. They had that one fella what was his name, oh yea-

Herbstreit: Thanks Coach. And you Tressel, how does this compare to other big games in your career?

Tressel: Well Kirk, we've been in a lot of big games and we've had a lot of success in those big games so I-

Urban: What's that, Tress?

Tressel: Well we did have that slip up against Florida but that was nothing. We rebounded nicely and ran the table the following season and the-

Les: And then what, Jim?

Tressel: We've been in a lot of big games.

Herbstreit: Well that was awkward. I didn't know you guys were in town. And now for the final question. Coaches, tell me why your team is the best team in the nation. Coach Paterno, we'll start with you.

Paterno: Awww, come on Kirk, I, I'm not gonna waste my time, I mean, that's just a silly, I, I'm not gonna answer that, come on, that's just a waste of time.

Herbstreit: Coach Tressel, your thoughts?

Tressel: Well, I think we do have the best team in the country, Kirk. We have a great defense, and an offense that is learning every week. And what's more, our team has wide-reaching appeal. I've talked to all of our fans, all the hockey moms and Johnny Six Packs and Joe Plumbers out there. And unequivocally they've told me that if you take out the SEC and the Pac-10, we have the best team in this great nation.

Herbstreit: That's just not true, Coach! Let's go PSU!

Paterno (shaking head): Ugh...

Herbstreit: On that note, I think it's about time to wrap things up! Thanks for your time, coaches.

"mmmmmyeeeeeaaah!"

This Just In: Wisconsin, Penn State Are World-Beaters; Ohio State Sucks

Since we write a blog, we naturally have some problems with the mainstream media, namely E!SPN.

ESPN's new logo.

These feelings are federally mandated. Everyone knows it. We can sit back and rip on the worldwide leader for blowing the Vince Young story out of proportion, for its analysts’ shock-value-laced diatribes and for even employing Skip Bayless and Stephen A. Smith. But after this weekend in college football (three games in particular), things are starting to hit home.

ESPN.com’s Big11Ten blogger, Adam Rittenberg, has alluded to the fact that Ohio State is no longer the team to beat in the conference numerous times in the last 48 hours (example 1, example 2, example 3). Suddenly, in the course of three hours, everyone stopped saying that Ohio State was one of the best teams in the nation and firmly agreed that they suck, and are not even the top team in their conference.

Obviously, Ohio State got drubbed. And any competent person saw this coming from a mile away. But the way this thing is being covered, you’d think the Buckeyes were going to pack it in and not even play out the rest of their schedule. Never mind the fact that they haven’t played a conference game, they could still finish their season with only one loss (to the #1 team), and could be in national championship talk at the end of the year.

Do we hope that scenario plays out? Hell no. But let’s not get too excited because an amazing football team on a completely different plane smacked Ohio State around. This doesn’t make Penn State’s trip to the horseshoe any easier.

However, judging by the mainstream media, you might think it does. Check out Rittenberg’s power rankings that we mentioned. Wisconsin is his #1 after surviving a tight game at Fresno State, and our beloved Nittany Lions are #2 after spanking Syracuse, which leaves Ohio State at the three spot. What’s even worse is that we heard a combination of the following terms in the same sentence on Sportscenter Sunday morning: “Penn State”, “Big Ten”, “team to beat”.

This pisses us off for a couple of different reasons. First of all—and most obviously—we haven’t played anyone yet. Sure, we’re racking up huge points, but so would the varsity basketball team when they scrimmaged you and the JV squad in practice in the preseason. Second, we don’t want the spotlight. We hate to get nostalgic here, but remember ’05? No one thought we were any good then, and we proved that, yeah, we were. Let’s face it, no one outside the fanbase thinks we’re really any good again, and it’s too early for people to take notice. We’d much rather sneak up on people when we’re 5 or 6-0 than now when we’ve destroyed three awful teams.

We’re not trying to defend Ohio State here or anything. In fact, watching them get blown out Saturday was pretty satisfying. And as Rittenberg correctly points out in his “We are the Big Ten” post, the worst thing that could happen this year is the Buckeyes winning out and getting smoked again in a big bowl game. We think this can be a great year for Penn State, but they’ve still got a lot to prove. And while ESPN can jump to conclusions all it wants to, we’d rather heed the advice of the great Winston Wolfe:

"Pretty please...with sugar on top. Clean the fucking car."

Okay, that was the wrong quote, but we think you know which one we mean. Everyone relax, enjoy yourselves and we'll see how this thing shakes out.

USC-Ohio State Preview

vs.

Since it’s the marquee matchup of the season (at least so far) and because we didn’t have any better ideas, we decided to preview this weekend’s game between USC and Ohio State. Would we, as fans of a Big11Ten team, feel vindicated if our conference’s top team goes to LA and takes down the vaunted Trojans? Maybe, but not much. Would we laugh heartily if the Buckeyes lose yet another big game to an excellent team? Yes, yes we would. Onto the preview.

Ohio State
There’s no doubt that Ohio State is the class of the Big11Ten this year, as much as it pains us to say that. They returned nine starters on both sides of the ball, and they have highly skilled and experienced players all over the field. They have the nation’s #1 recruit in Terrelle Pryor, a guy who spurned Penn State to play for the Sweater Vest. Pryor would’ve fit in great in Happy Valley though, as he punched a dude after a game in the state basketball tournament last year. He didn’t get suspended, mostly because he’s Terrelle Pryor. Sounds like a great kid though. Buckeye fans are hoping he’s not a repeat of this:

The Buckeyes’ offense is anchored by senior quarterback Todd Boeckman. We were pissed last year when Boeckman just stepped in without any growing pains and led the team to the national title game, while we were saddled with another season of Morelli. Then again, Boeckman did have Chris “Beanie” Wells and his 1600+ yards rushing to take some of the pressure off of him.

You may remember two days ago when Wells said he wanted 45 carries on Saturday. Well guess what: now he’s probably not even going to play. This, of course, is disastrous Ohio State’s chances. No offense to backups Maurice Wells and Brandon Saine, but they ain’t Beanie Wells. Boeckman is going to have to step up big time, and he was very shaky last week against Ohio. His two main targets are Anthony Robiskie and Brian Hartline, and luckily for Buckeye fans, you may not find two guys as solid as those them in the rest of the conference.

"Hey assholes, what about us?"

Whoops! Sorry guys.

But really, if Ohio State has any shot at winning this game, it’s going to be because of their defense. Led by All-American linebacker James Laurinaitis, the Buckeyes D can stop anyone on any given day. Unless it’s an SEC team on national championship day, that is. Ohio State also has an outstanding D-line, and ends Lawrence Wilson and Cameron Heyward have looked great so far. Stud cornerback Malcolm Jenkins anchors the backfield for the Bucks. They’re going to have to hold the USC offense under 30 if they want a shot, and probably around 20 if they realistically want to win. We’re not even sure that’s possible.

USC
It's gonna be tough to predict what USC is going to do in this game.
What do we know? They came out and destroyed Virginia. It wasn't even close. Sanchez was tearing it up out there and despite the rout, played enough of the game to end up making 35 pass attempts. So much for those knee issues.

So Sanchez played well, what about the rest of the offense?

What else do we know? Half the team got their hands on the ball. Eight guys got at least one rushing attempt in (including Sanchez) and ten more caught passes. USC spread the ball all over the field, piled up a ton of points, played the entire team, yet really didn't even show any of their cards.

It looks to be another year of running back by committee, as returning players Joe McKnight, Stafon Johnson, Allan Bradford and CJ Gable all got touches. It will be some time before we find out who the #1 horse is going to be, and which ones will fall back to the practice squad. Regardless, if history has taught us anything it's that USC will create an effective running game however they have to. Last season, Johnson and McKnight got a shade under 100 carries each and averaged 6.9 and 5.7 yards per carry, respectively.

At the receiver spot, the Trojans return Patrick Turner and Vidal Hazelton. They will be the veterans of the receiving corps. Last season, Turner caught 48 balls for 569 and Hazelton 50 for 540. With another year of experience, they should be a great receiving corps for a quarterback who's looking to make an impact on a team that's seen more than their fair share of impact quarterbacks.

Obviously these guys will pose the first big test for the Buckeyes, who so far have been able to stop the mighty Penguins and Bobcats.

Now, for as good as USC offenses have been recently, this season it's the defense that could be the strength of the team.

Like the Buckeyes, USC boasts a great linebacker or two. Ray Maualuga and Brian Cushing anchor the Trojans defense, much the same way Laurinaitis and Marcus Freeman do the Buckeyes. Both men are All-Americans that can make any play on the field. Maualuga is returning as the leading tackler from a year ago, while Cushing was the 2007 MVP Rose Bowl MVP. If Beanie Wells ends up not playing this weekend, these guys would cause huge problems for whatever back the Buckeyes throw in there. Boeckman too.

If Ohio State had that much trouble against Ohio without Wells, it's almost scary to think about what might happened when they play against an experienced USC team that plays big games like this all the time.

Though some faces have changed, USC never has a problem filling in the gaps. They get their pick of the best in the nation and throw them out there to become stars. Will it happen this year? We're not gonna know for a while, but this weekend will go a long way to proving what kind of teams both USC and OSU are.


Half-Ass Analysis
Well frankly, we don’t think Ohio State stands much of a chance in this one. If Wells were completely healthy, we’d surely change our tune. Things just don’t look good. They’re coming off a questionable performance against a horrible team, their QB looks a bit shaky, and even though they have the best freshman in the country, they probably can’t even utilize him enough to make a difference. That’s a lot of shit stacked against them.

When you watch USC play, sometimes their players seem so much bigger, faster and stronger than the other team that it doesn’t even seem fair. You start to question why they would ever lose, and how they could ever not have the best recruiting class in the nation. You start to curse Pete Carroll, but in your heart, you’re envious of the bastard. It’s almost unfair. Add all that to the fact that they’re playing at home, and you have a recipe for disaster for the Buckeyes.

Prediction: USC 38, Ohio State 14