He's no joker.

In the spirit of Halloween, NBC.com contributor Bryan Burwell thought it would be a good idea to try out his favorite costume. Actually, we're not entirely sure he had on any costume when he wrote this article, but he sure comes off as a real clown when you sit down and read his latest column.

We're not sure who this guy writes for full time, but this article reeks of a guy who's hometown team has been bumped out of contention. He just comes off as bitter. It's kind of pathetic when you consider he's paid to write these things.

Check it out.

Mr. Burwell decided to let everyone know why he thinks that Penn State is undeserving of a shot at the national title.

Why is it?

Because Ohio State got spanked the past two tries, of course.

Look, we understand that people don't like the Big Ten, and as soon as those SEC and Big12 teams started piling up losses, everyone was looking for a one loss team to put ahead of Penn State. We're kind of used to seeing articles like this. We realize that because Ohio State can't get up for a big game, that it reflects poorly on the whole conference.

But to say Penn State doesn't even deserve a shot because of another team's poor performance in the previous two years is just ridiculous.

In fact, he claims that he can think of ten teams off the top of his head that deserve a chance to play for the 'ship. Those ten teams? "Texas, Alabama, Florida, Georgia, Oklahoma State, Oklahoma, Texas Tech, USC, LSU and even Missouri."

Texas - Ranked one, so they'll get there ahead of PSU if they remain unbeaten.
Alabama - Same as Texas, except second. We understand the BCS, mostly, so we can deal with that. We'll be disappointed, but we get it.
Florida - They lost to Ole Miss, and you want to see them with the best in the country?
Georgia - Didn't they get destroyed at their own field? Probably the worst pre-season number 1 ever.
Oklahoma State - Lost to Texas. That was their National Championship, why should they get to try again?
Oklahoma - Same as OK State.
Texas Tech - We'll see, but you want to knock PSU for not having a difficult schedule?
USC - Got trounced by Oregon State, who got trounced by -- you guessed it -- PSU.
LSU - Two lopsided losses. TWO. You can't put teams in the national championship just because of the name of the school.
Missouri - Really, who didn't see right through that team? Two losses. Do they even have a defensive squad on that team? There's two sides to that ball.

So, Burwell, this is who you pick? A couple of two loss teams and a couple other teams who got the piss beat out of them at one point or another?

The only legit teams that might be on there are already ranked ahead of PSU -- and we're fine with those rankings -- or Texas Tech, which always seems to create some kind of buzz until they play someone that matters.

Why do we think those are the only legit teams? Because they're undefeated.

Everyone knows how the BCS works by now. You go undefeated and you give yourself a chance to play for the crystal. If you lose to unranked teams or get blown out at your home field, you probably won't get that chance. If you lose twice, you really don't deserve that chance.

These teams are not being "penalized for being in a far superior conference," as Burwell states, they are being penalized for losing games.

Some of those teams on his list have already had their chance to play Texas or Bama, and lost. So we're not sure how anyone could make the case for them being more deserving of a chance to play for the championship than Penn State. Why even watch Texas play against one of three teams they already beat the snot out of?

Win games and get in. Lose and you're out. It's simple. You don't get second chances or rematches, so get it done the first time. Every team is under the same pressure.

We can't wait to read Burwell's column on Monday, should Texas lose Saturday.

Ass.

Top 5 Reasons The NBA Sucks

If you're thinking, "Why is a Penn State football blog writing about the NBA," well, we can't say we blame you. But it's bye week, there's little going on with the team, we're bored and we like Top 5 lists. If you hate the NBA- and if you're a college football fan, we think there's a relatively good chance that you do- consider this a break from having to read Bill Simmons' 7,500-word columns on how great it is.

5. The game is a side act to the player introductions.
There's more choreography in NBA pregame introductions than there is in a Chad Johnson end zone celebration (before this season anyway). We wish the players would use the effort they put into elaborate handshake routines into actually running on the court.

Is this really necessary?

4. The end of the game is the most boring part of the game.
You may be saying, "That's the case in any sport, if it's a blowout." And therein lies the rub: the NBA is actually less boring in a blowout then it is in a 5-point game down the stretch. Unless the score is within 3 points, the last 2 minutes is all fouling, free throws and timeouts and goes on for about half an hour. That's just an inherently dumb problem, and there's no getting around it.

3. No one plays defense. Ever.
Don't even try to argue against this. Watch a college basketball game and see how the team plays defense. Then watch an NBA game, and take note of how many open 3s guys get, because defenders are all too lazy to run out and get a hand in the shooter's face. People talk about great defenders in the NBA all the time, but don't buy into this; the "great" defenders just play less-crappy D than the average guys. Defense in the NBA is a total farce. And that's that.

Nice D, losers.

2. They refuse to play back to back nights in the playoffs.
Come on, ladies. High school kids play multiple games in a day sometimes during holiday tournaments. You're world-class athletes and you can't suck it up and play two nights in a row? How many nights off would these guys need if they stopped loafing around and actually played? Three? Five?

1. The pro basketball championship pales in comparison to the college basketball championship.
Hey, there are a lot of reasons why the NBA sucks, but how can you top this one? In what other sport is the college championship noticeably more exciting, more popular and flat-out better than it's pro counterpart? Ummm, none. The college tournament is great: 64 teams, 2 and a half weeks, you fuck up once and you're gone. The NBA? 16 teams over about two months (seems more like five) and all the excitement of a 2-hour history class on a Friday afternoon.

Bonus: Stephen A. Smith is prominently involved in the analysis of the sport.

"I LOVE THE UNIVERSITY OF PENN STATE, HOWWW-EVAHH, THIS BLOG IS TERR-A-BULL!" -Stephen A. Smith

Thank you, Stephen A.

Bye Week Matchups

Well, it's bye week. At first it seems like a bad thing; for nine weeks, you've been looking forward to watching Penn State go out and dominate. But hey, we all can use a break (especially our concussed, Davey O'Brien Award finalist quarterback). So while Penn State is resting up this week, we suggest you do so as well- on your couch. And here are some games going on this weekend (in chronological order) to entertain you while you're there.

Wisconsin @ Michigan State, 12:00, ESPN
We might as well put one Big11Ten game on this list, as we're sure you'll be longing to see some mediocre football. The Spartans have to be feeling good after knocking off Michigan in Ann Arbor for the first time since the grunge era, and Wisconsin is finally off the schneid after a (not so) big win over Illinois.

So who will emerge victorious in this one? We say Michigan State. We're pretty sure Javon Ringer is just going to keep killing opposing defenses until both his legs break off (which should be sometime around November 22nd), and we're way way way far from sold on Dustin Sherer. Go Sparty.

West Virginia @ Connecticut, 12:00 ESPN GamePlan/ESPN360.com
Alright, so this one's not really on TV, but it has Big East title implications, so it should be on your radar. Oh, what's that? Oh right! The Big East sucks and no one really respects it. Well, if you're not doing anything else, watch this one online so you can make fun of your crazy friend or co-worker that swears the Big East is an actual big-time college football conference.

Florida vs. Georgia (in Jacksonville, FL), 3:30 CBS
This one is pretty huge for both teams, as they're both 4-1 in the conference, and the winner of this game is most likely going to win the SEC East division and go to the conference title game. Considering that they might be playing that sneaky Alabama team in said title game, you may want to keep your eye on this one.

This is a neutral site game, held in Jacksonville (which isn't exactly neutral), and as well all know, it's dubbed "The World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party." We find that a bit grandiose. In Happy Valley, we don't really need a nickname, because we know we have the best tailgate scene in the country, bar none. (Hey, we don't brag often around here, let us have this.)

Anyway, we like Florida in this one, because if they don't get revenge for that little celebration stunt the Bulldogs pulled last year, they shouldn't be allowed to field a team next year. In case you forgot about that incident, here you go:

Florida State @ Georgia Tech, 3:30, ABC
HA! Just kidding. You should never watch ACC football under any circumstances.

Texas @ Texas Tech, 8:00, ABC
This is the big matchup of the weekend, obviously, with Big XII, BCS and best-team-in-Texas implications. Texas Tech gets the shaft big time amongst voters and the media, but Graham Harrell, Michael Crabtree and company can really light it up. Ask Kansas, who had 63 points hung on them last weekend.

Of course Texas is the #1 team in the nation, lead by top Heisman hopeful Colt McCoy at quarterback. Usually we would make fun of a dude named Colt, but the guy is playing out of his mind right now, completing a whopping 81% of his passes so far for 21 touchdowns. That is INSANE. Also keep your eye on wideout Jordan Shipley, who leads the team with 58 receptions. He's been a beast this year as well.

Considering that these two teams are averaging over 90 points per game combined, we're pretty sure that this isn't going to be a defensive struggle a la PSU-OSU last weekend. But no matter how potent Tech's offense is, we like the Horns to prevail in this one. Why? Well, for starters, Tech's schedule makes Penn State's look like the NFC East. Just some of the teams they've beaten this year: Eastern Washington, SMU, UMass, K-State and Nebraska. Meanwhile, in the last three weeks, Texas has beaten Oklahoma, Missouri and Oklahoma State respectively. That's a litttttle tougher. So yeah, best of luck to Tech- and trust us, we're rooting for them- but we think ol' Colt and the Longhorns are going to rough them up.

What happened this past weekend?

This is late because we're lazy. And because Monday night was wing night. oops.

Indiana: 21 Northwestern: 19

Take note, Penn State. We know Northwestern ain't no Penn State, but Indiana is not a good team but if you turn the ball over five times, as Northwestern did this past Saturday, it is very possible to lose to bad teams.

The stats for this game were very similar, with the exception of the 5 turnover margin in favor of Indiana. Neither team really seems to be able or want to run the ball and neither has that game breaking quarterback, but it's good to see Indiana get a win against a ranked team because they're coming up on the schedule and the Lions need to be warned that anything can happen.

Wisconsin: 27 Illinois: 17

Thanks, guys. Every week that Illinois victory from a few weeks back seems to look less and less impressive.

Sherer accounted for 3 touchdowns, one of them on the ground. Juice completed barely more than 50% of his passes and threw more picks than TDs. Neither team ran the ball at that well and PJ Hill only had nine yards.

Does not approve.

What happened? Did he get hurt? Wisconsin fan, fill us in (won't happen). All we could find was that he bruised his foot. We really hope, for the sake of his manhood, that wasn't the reason he only had 9 carries.

Michigan: 21 Michigan State: 35

They may have lost to Ohio State, badly, but we still need to worry about Michigan State. Javon Ringer had a party on Saturday, rushing for 194 yards and two touchdowns. As a team, MSU put up 473 yards of total offense. Michigan only had 252.

Much like PSU, Michigan State had not beat Michigan in what must feel like an eternity, but they were able to get over that hump this weekend. This seems to be the year for that.

Michigan State has their slip up against Ohio State, but it's still safe to say they have the tools to be a good team and that last game of the season will be a good one. We look forward to taking the RV up for that one.

Minnesota: 17 Purdue: 6

Yeah, Minnesota. Since we don't play them this year, we are secretly cheering for them. Some of us are fans of teams in other sports that have been terrible in recent years, so we feel for the fans of Minnesota football who stuck with their team and get to see them play winning football.

The win wasn't glamorous, but they got it done. Adam Weber continues to play effeciently despite having no running game, and the defense is keeping people off the scoreboard, even though they were predicted by many (including us, most likely) to be terrible.

Minnesota continues to rise and is now 7-1 and ranked 17th. Did anyone outside of the Gophers locker room expect this to happen?

Game 9 Recap: Penn State 13, Ohio State 6

How crooked was that "O" behind the end-zone? How sweet was the mini S-Zone in the corner?

Man did it feel good to type the score of this one in the title. As we said last night, it wasn't pretty, but at this point, who cares. A win is a win, and when you're playing Ohio State at night in the Horseshoe, you'd take a 3-2 victory and be thrilled about it.

For most of the night, this game was dead even, and you could sense that it would take one huge play from either side to win. In the end, it came in the form of an incredibly untimely turnover by a true freshman QB (and the one of the wildest scrambles to recover a ball that we can remember).

And oh by the way, to the rest of the country, you are welcome. You won't have to see Ohio State in the National Championship again this year. We're happy about it too.

Onto the recap...

1st Quarter

The first quarter was the most boring quarter of football we've seen all season. Both teams seemed to be sort of feeling things out as both defenses really locked things down.

Ohio State started with the ball and seemed to start moving the ball pretty well, but after a few incompletions it was time to punt.

PSU had two big plays on back to back first downs and our hopes were high we might see a first possession score, but two incompletions and a sad run led to a fourth down and a punt.

For Ohio State's second drive, PSU stacked the line against Wells and forced the game onto Pryor. It would be a theme all night as Ohio State tried to force the run, PSU stuffed them, and Pryor was forced to throw.

It worked this time and Ohio State was forced to punt after only 7 plays.

Ohio State probably would have tried the same tactic, but PSU didn't even bother trying to run, and was also forced to punt rather quickly.

And so ended the most boring quarter ever. Yeah, this is the Big Ten.

2nd Quarter

The short drive theme continued as three more drives started and ended before either team could get very far into the other team's territory.

Our hearts were broken once though. After Jeremy Boone pinned Ohio State at their own 3, Pryor was able to complete a 53 yard pass to a wiiiiiide open Dan Sanzenbacher. Somehow he disappeared into the secondary and took the catch to the PSU 41. We couldn't believe it, Pryor isn't supposed to do things right. We wanted that safety.

It didn't matter though, as Beanie wasted two rushes and Pryor threw another third down incompletion. Boeckman for Heisman, right?

OSU punted and PSU started at their own 11. Pretty crap field position.

The Lions nickel and dimed their way out to about their own 30 before, on a first and ten, Clark hit Graham Zug of all people for 49 yards. Like Sanzenbacher before him, Zug slipped unnoticed into the secondary and found himself wide open. We were thrilled and disappointed at the same time because while the gain was great, had Clark put a little more oomph on that it would have been 6.

Great play nonetheless, and things were finally looking to get going.

Okay so maybe not, three players later it was fourth and 4 and Kevin Kelly trotted onto the field.

He is money, in case you forgot, and banged one through for three.

3-0

On the ensuing kickoff, OSU returned it to their 39 yard line. Not good.
OSU started the drive with about a minute and a half left, they could not be allowed to score.
An incompletion and a false start followed and we thought we were going into halftime with the lead, but Pryor moved the ball 10 yards and got a new set of downs.

Fortunately, Aaron Maybin hit the right-bumper a couple times then got the User Sack and OSU took a loss of 9 yards.

Once again, it looked like things were about to end, when Pryor hit Robiskie for 33 yards. Dammit.

Finally the Lions were able to put the brakes on their drive and forced them to kick the field goal.

3-3

Lebron was pumped.
Remember though, just because something is expensive doesn't mean it won't look retarded on you.

-Halftime-

This is not the game you were looking for.

3rd Quarter

Penn State got the ball to start the 3rd, and as Kirk and Brent alert us that the O-line got a bit of a tongue-lashing during halftime, Royster rushed the ball for 9 yards, then quickly picked up a first down on the next play. That's more like it.

Clark then hit Butler for 4 yards, which was followed by Stephfon Green scampering for 12. With a first down near Ohio State territory, Williams rushed for a yard, and then thinking you had a flashback to 2006, Royster got stuffed on a draw. On third and 7, a draw by Clark picked up only two yards, and it was time to punt. Maybe not the best call on third and 7.

Boone let loose with another fine punt (he had a very solid night out there in a game that was mostly a field position battle), pinning the Buckeyes at their own 9.

As the drive began, we fully expected another solid defensive stand. So with every frustrating play Ohio State put together, our blood pressure went up just a little bit more.

The drive started with Wells carrying it four straight times. Pryor then completed three consecutive passes, which, let's face it, is about two too many for him.

After a short run by Wells, it was third and 7 for the Buckeyes. Pryor tossed one on the sideline to Robiskie, and it looked like he was out of bounds. But the replay showed that he somehow got a toe down, and the drive continued, as remote controls were thrown across rooms in the houses of Penn State fans everywhere.

But in a game where absolutely everyone looked tense, Tressel went super-conservative, running Wells three times for just 7 yards, and Ohio State had to settle for a field goal.

As annoying as that drive was, it was absolutely huge that the D held them to 3 points.

Don't Grammatica yourself.

3-6

Luckily, Penn State came out and put together a nice drive on their next possession. Clark scrambled on the first play and turned a 1-yard gain into a 7-yard game after he dragged a dude behind him. Green picked up the first on the next play with a 5-yard run.

Clark then took over, hitting Butler for a 7-yard pickup, Williams for 12, and then he took off on a QB draw for a huge 14-yard pickup, putting the Lions in field goal range (or so we thought).

Clark then went for the home run, trying to hook up with Williams on a wheel route inside the 5. Williams made a sweet catch, but couldn't get a foot down. On second down, Clark fired one high over Graham Zug as the quarter came to a close.

We think maybe a run would've been a better call there, because you probably pick up a couple yards and aren't staring at a third and 10. Then again we're guys in our mid-20s who write a blog.

4th Quarter

After the longest commercial break of our lives, we wondered what brand of genius Galen Hall had up his sleeve for a third and 10 in the 4th quarter. He treated us to a shovel pass.

Actually it wasn't a horrible call, and Royster was mere inches away from picking up the first. But that bastard Heyward grabbed his foot and tripped him up. Kevin Kelly trotted out to tie the game. Before the ball was even snapped, you somehow knew what was going to happen.

Wide right.

And that's the most pissed off we've been all year.

As Ohio State took over possession, the Lions needed to get the ball back immediately. When Pryor scrambled for a first down on third and one, you could almost feel this one slipping away. It was obvious Tressel was going to run the ball until Penn State stopped it, and Wells took two carries for 9 yards.

Then, it was the biggest third and 1 of the season. Instead of diving behind the line and picking up the first, Pryor tried to break the game open. And then Mark Rubin answered everyone's prayers:

When you saw that ball pop out, your night went from miserable to euphoric in .02 seconds.

While the ball was on the ground, Tyrell Sales made the most heads-up play in the history of sports, batting the ball forward to knock it away from Pryor, as he knew he couldn't grab it himself. A couple heart-stopping seconds later, Bowman (who was huge all night) fell on it.


Momentum: shifted. Huge play by the D, HUGE mistake by Pryor.

Now everyone was pumped. It was Penn State ball at the Ohio State 38. Royster took the hand-off from Clark for a big 9-yard pickup. Wait a second...that wasn't Clark...

Why the hell is Devlin in the game? We're still not sure, although Clark looked a little woozy after a hit he took during the last drive. Whatever the case, it was Devlin out there running the offense.

The next play was Pat's only pass attempt of the game, and while he didn't connect with Derrick Williams, Williams drew a pass interference penalty that put the Lions at the Ohio State 14. Royster ran one for 2 yards, followed by Green going for 6. And on a huge third and 2, Royster cut one outside and danced past the first down marker and out of bounds. We let out the biggest sigh of relief ever (up to that point, anyway).

It was first and goal at the 2, and it was time to take one in, Paterno style. A hand-off to Dan Lawlor went for 1 yard, and a Devlin sneak was stuffed. The second sneak, however, was good.

A.Q. was a happy man.

10-6

Ohio State got the ball back, looking to make up basically handing the momentum to the Lions on the last drive. Pryor wasted no time, hooking up with Hartline for 15 yards. The next pass downfield to Robiskie looked like it might be caught, but Lydell Sargeant made a nice hit to break it up. Wells carried the ball for 6 yards on the next play, and then Pryor was stopped short on a scramble. A huge stop by the D.

Penn State started its next drive at the Ohio State 37, and it was time to let Royster go to work. A rush for 3 and a 15-yard facemask penalty. A rush for 10, timeout Ohio State. A rush for 9, timeout Ohio State. A sneak by Devlin for 2, timeout Ohio State. We do believe that was their last timeout.

Three short rushes by Royster could not pick up a first, but the team was well within field goal range to go up by 7. This time, Kelly's kick was true.

13-6

Kelly then came up huge on the kickoff with a touchback. 1:07 left on the clock.

Pryor fires his first pass out of bounds for an incompletion. You relax a bit. On second down, he hits Ray Small for 14 yards. You tense up again. After a spike, there's another incompletion. You relax a little. On third, Pryor hits Small again, this time for 14. You scream obscenities at Ray Small, a dude you'd never even heard of a minute ago.

After a quick spike, it was second down from the Penn State 43. 36 seconds left. The ball was snapped. Maybin applies pressure from the outside. Pryor rolls right and lofts one towards the end zone. Brian Hartline was in the area. So was Lydell Sargeant:

Game.

13-6



awwwwwww

How's that one taste?

3 Big Stat Lines

• Evan Royster: 19 carries, 77 yards
  
• Penn State D: held Ohio State to 61 yards rushing (!)
  
• Brent Musberger: 8 counts of gushing praise for Pat Devlin handing off the ball, 1 count of calling Clark "Norwood", 3 counts of being plain senile
  

Our Quick Thoughts On The Game:

• It can never be easy against Ohio State.
• Zero turnovers on the road.
• We've never witnessed a game played more tentatively by two teams (coaching staffs included).
• Clark made some very questionable throws, but he managed to avoid the big mistake, which is more than we can say for another QB in this one.
• That said, Pryor is a good QB, especially for a true freshman. Still a douche, though.
• Okay, so Devlin didn't really do anything, but its gotta be tough to enter a game of that magnitude ice cold in the 4th quarter.
  
• Thanks for those 30 free penalty yards in the 4th, Buckeyes. Much appreciated.
  
• Insane game by the D as a whole. Odrick, Sales, Rubin, Maybin, Sargeant and Bowman all made huge plays at one time or another.
• Beanie Wells: 55 yards on 22 carries.
  
• Annoying overused stat of the week: Penn State hasn't won at Ohio Stadium in 30 years. Know how many games were played there at that time? Seven. A little misleading.
  
• God it feels good to beat Ohio State.

Penn State Player of the Game: Mark Rubin
This really could go to a number of guys on the defense, but Rubin made the biggest play of the night, in addition to finishing with 11 tackles. Not only did he snuff out a sneaky move to the outside by Pryor, he popped the ball loose and completely changed the course of the game. Gotta give him the game ball, because that sequence basically won the game for Penn State.

Ohio State Player of the Game: The Defense
No one player stood out for the Buckeyes. No one really stepped up and made that huge play that they need to make to win the game. But the defensive unit was stout for the most part, holding the conference's best offense to 13 points and only 281 yards. It just wasn't quite enough.

Honorable Mentions: Punters Jeremy Boone and A.J. Trapasso
Hey, it's not often we mention the punters, but in such a low-scoring field position game, they had a chance to affect the game and they both stepped up nicely. Each put three punts inside the 20, and Boone pinned OSU on their own 3 in the first half. Trapasso absolutely bombed one early on for 59 yards. Take a bow, punters. Nice games from both of you.

Big W

Okay, so that wasn't the prettiest game ever played, but the Lions got the job done tonight. Big time kudos to the D, and a special thanks to Terrelle Pryor for handing the game to us on a silver and crimson platter. The undefeated run continues. It feels great to be a Penn State fan right now.

If you're an Ohio State fan, it feels...well, not so good.

Ohhhh, so sad.

Much, much more in the recap tomorrow.

Game 9 Preview: Penn State @ Ohio State

Gametime: 8:00 pm

Records: Penn State: 8-0 (4-0), Ohio State: 7-1 (4-0)

Series Record: Ohio State leads, 12-11

TV: ABC

Audio: Here

Weather: 51 degrees, 20% chance of rain.

The dreaded Horseshoe.

Gameday will be there. Herbstreit can barely contain himself.

Words cannot describe how we're feeling going into this game. It's a strange combination of emotions: excitement, nervousness, anger and most of all, trying not to pee ourselves in anticipation. We don't even know what that means, that's how crazy this game is.

Look, we sort of hate it when people define a team's season by just one game. It's just not fair. To be frank, this team has already surpassed our expectations for this season. Before the season, we thought a two-loss campaign would be great. We weren't being pessimistic, just realistic. But here we are, 8-0 and a 2.5 point favorite against Ohio State in the Horseshoe. Eight weeks ago, we would never have believed it. So when we say this game is pretty much the whole season, we mean it.

We can't stand Ohio State. They're smug as hell, their coach is a ninny in a sweater vest, they think they're king shit, and they don't even recognize how much we despise them, which only pisses us off more. And let's not forget what their last three massive choke jobs have done to the reputation of this (semi) good conference.

So the Lions have a job to do tomorrow night in Columbus. They have to go out there and beat the Buckeyes in their own back yard not just to continue this improbable run, but to give a shot to someone else from the Big11Ten to make some noise on a national stage. Ohio State had their shot(s), and they blew it big time.

Now it's our turn.

That's probably as preachy and sentimental as you'll see us get (of course we make no promises). Onto the actual game analysis.

Usually we like to give you a look at both teams and how they match up against one another. But this week we're going to change it up. We all know that our offense is stout. If they can get some momentum early against the Ohio State D (which is not easy, because it is an extremely good defense), we think they'll be alright. Where this game will be won for Penn State is on the defensive side of the ball. On that note, let's take a closer look at the weapons that the Lions will have to contain tomorrow night:

Beanie Wells: Public Enemy #1

We use that nickname for Beanie only with deepest apologies to Maurice Clarett.

Hey, we're not sure if you heard this or not, but Beanie Wells was battling an injury earlier this season! Whoa! Despite that, he is averaging almost 124 yards a game this year, and he just torched Michigan State for 140 and 2 TDs. There's no doubt about it, the guy's a beast. He is huge and he will punish defenders all day long. But he's also very speedy for his size and can make quick cuts when he needs to. He's a tough man to bring down.

Stopping Wells is the key to this game. Ohio State can usually throw out a pretty balanced offensive attack, but this year, everything relies on the ground game. Of course QB Terrelle Pryor is a big part of that too, but stopping Beanie is where Penn State needs to start. Ohio State is dead last in the conference in passing with only 140 yards a game. The Buckeyes hung 45 on MSU last weekend, but Pryor only had 116 passing yards. So the objective is clear for the Lions: stop Beanie on the ground, and that will be a huge factor in winning this game.

Terrelle Pryor: He's Good, But He's Still A Freshman

"I called this press conference to announce...nothing."

What a dick. This guy fits right in at Ohio State. But putting that aside, like we said, the D can't worry only about Wells, they have to watch Pryor on the zone read and scrambling from the pocket as well. The guy does not seem to be that fast, but he has a very smooth running style where he'll lull you to sleep and then burn past everyone on the field. We hate to play the role of Captain Obvious here, but Penn State absolutely has to make Pryor make plays with his arm.

This kid is a true freshman, and while he's done a good job so far, he is the living definition of "game management." Not to mention, he looked lost at times in the backfield during the Wisconsin game, and we can't count the number of times he's held onto the ball too long this season. Let's see what he can do in a HUGE game, under big time pressure. If he can win this one against a very solid Penn State D, kudos to him. But if he's gonna beat you, make him do it with the arm.

James Laurinaitis: Just Stop Talking About Him Already

You've got to be kidding.

Okay, so we cheated, he's not an offensive weapon. Yes, he is an outstanding defensive player, but for God's sake, can the media stop blowing him for one second? Also, if we see another shot of his Dad in the stands, we're going to vomit. And who allows himself to be photographed like that? Ugh.

Ohio State Player To Watch: RB Beanie Wells
Again, a very obvious pick, but is there anyone more important to the Buckeyes' success? If you say Pryor, you're lying to yourself.

Penn State Player To Watch: Daryll Clark
Pryor isn't the only one who may have to make some big plays through the air. Clark has been nearly flawless all year. Can he keep up his stellar performance in this monster of a game? The dude has shown tremendous poise all year, and we don't see any reason why that will stop this weekend. Besides, he's got a ton of weapons out there. Just avoid the big mistake (ask Morelli about that).

3 Bold Predictions:

• Kevin Kelly ties the Big11Ten record for career field goals after he boots two in this one (suck it, Mike Nugent!).
  
• Royster will outgain Beanie.
  
• Our hair will be gray on Sunday morning.
  

Other Notes

• In case you haven't heard 4,000 times this week, Penn State is 0-7 at the 'Shoe as a Big11Ten member.
• BREAKING NEWS: Mark May just picked Ohio State to win. Shocker.
  

Well, what else is there to say about this one? We're just gonna buckle in and try not to have a heart attack. It's gonna be a hard-fought game, no doubt, and Ohio State is a very good team. But like we said, they had their chance. This year we're the better team, and the guys are going to prove it tomorrow. They win in a close one. Then it's party time:


Game Prediction: Penn State 27, Ohio State 17

Blue & White Roundtable: Armageddon

For the first time ever, questions are coming from us this week. If you think they suck, give us a break! It's our first try.

Other possible participants:

There is No Name on My Jersey
Tangled Up in White and Blue
W. F. Yurasko
Happy Hour Valley
Black Shoe Diaries
The Nittany Line
Zombie Nation
Nittany Whiteout

1. Was Ohio State's blowout of Michigan State last weekend an anomaly or are the Buckeyes "back"?

No team is ever "back" after one big game. We feel it's more a situation of whether or not they ever left. Sure they had some slow games against some less than stellar teams, but Ohio State is always going to get everyone's best game. No one forgets to show up when they play the Buckeyes. There's a better chance they forget to show up when they come to play you.

Take into consideration the loss of Wells and the addition of Pryor and it's safe to say this team was going to be going through some growing pains, even if pretty much the entire rest of the roster is returning from last season.

The defense of OSU never left and the offense needed a period of adjustment, but we think it's safe to say that after Michigan State, the Buckeyes are properly adjusted and ready to go. They're a very good team, a dangerous team, and one that could ruin 2008 for us.

So yeah, I guess they're back.

2. What can Penn State do to avoid a slow start in this game?

Well that's easy: score early and stop Ohio State after scoring. Who came up with these questions anyway?

But seriously, it's imperative that the Lions get off to a good start against this team. If they can get a lead, it's going to put so much more pressure on the Ohio State offense (and that quarterback kid who's running it). Come out, let Royster control the first drive, make a couple solid throws and get some points on the board. Plenty of time to open the playbook up from there.

And on defense early on, all they should be worried about is stopping the run. DO NOT let the Buckeyes establish the run game, or it could be a long night. The more Penn State forces Pryor to make plays with his arm, the better their chances. Concentrate on those things early, and hopefully they'll avoid the early game letdown they had last weekend against Michigan.

3. Why is Ohio State ranked ahead of Penn State in the computer rankings? And why is every media member and his brother picking Ohio State this week?

Thanks Blue and White Roundtable Question writer person, that is an excellent question!

Honestly! Why are they?!

Ohio State has a loss.
Penn State does not.
Penn State has been convincing in every win.
Ohio State has been shaky against much lesser opponents.
Ohio State was smoked by USC.
USC lost to Oregon State.
PSU rolled over Oregon State.

Isn't relating common opponents one of the big things with the computer polls?
Who's running that show over there?

"Don't worry guys, I fix it."

As for why people are picking Ohio State? We really don't have an answer to that either. Probably because they expect Ohio State to be used to playing in and winning big games.

Oops.

Yeah, we reused a picture in back to back posts.

Make no mistake about it though, Ohio State is a good team again this year. They're always going to be good and there's no real reason they can't win this game.

Do we expect them to? No.

But that doesn't mean they can't, and if you're looking in from the outside, it's probably really easy to see a veteran Ohio State team that has dominated the past couple years, and pick them.

Lightning Round:

1. Who gets more TDs on the ground, Clark or Pryor?
Clark.

2. If the winner of this game wins out, will they get a shot in the BCS title game?
Yes and No.

3. Does dotting the I even compare to our drum major doing flips?
No. Some fat tuba player just standing there can't match the flip. The flip at least takes athletic ability.

The Great Debate

Kirk Herbstreit: Good evening readers. Tonight we've rounded up the coaches of the Penn State Nittany Lions and Ohio State Buckeyes. We thought we'd get them together for a nice debate and a discussion about this weekend's coming game. Because I went to Ohio State and have an incredibly odd infatuation with Penn State, We Want the Lion has chosen me as moderator.

Now, without further ado, please welcome Jim Tressel and Joe Paterno!



Herbstreit: Good evening gentlemen. Now, on with the questions. Coaches, why do you think the computer polls have Ohio State ranked ahead of PSU in the BCS?

Paterno: Ah, I don't even know how they work, I mean, I,I, I don’t even have a computer!

Tressel: Well we have a stellar program here at THE Ohio State University. We have a lot of great young people who go out and work hard, week in and week out. Also, the fact that we may or may not pay them probably helps our computer ranking.

Herbstreit: What can each of you do to sway the voters to vote for your school in the polls?

Tressel: Well, Kirk, you really have to appeal to what matters most to these folks: money. So we'll probably have an Escalade or two sent out to the important voters out there across the country. It's no big deal, Terrelle has three of them already.

Herbstreit: Coach Paterno, what can you do to sway the voters?

Paterno: Uhhh, win, you dumbass.

Herbstreit: Let's move on to this weekend's big game. Coach Paterno, what do you think about the Ohio State squad this year? How can you win this weekend?

Paterno: Oh ya know, they got a great bunch of kids over there. We’re gonna hafta go out there and play hard, that’s just a great group of kids and they’re a good, solid football team.

Herbstreit: And Coach Tressel, are you excited about the fact that, with a win this weekend, you could possibly have a chance to blow another huge game against a big conference opponent at the end of the year?

Tressel: Watch it, Kirk. You don't want to see me angry.

Tressel: Alright, so it's not that scary.

Herbstreit: Coaches, what might each of you do to fix the BCS?

Tressel: Except for including teams from the SEC, I’d say it works perfectly.

Paterno: I, I, I’m not sure what this BGS is, but anything’s better than letting the President decide the winner. That bastard Nixon….

Herbstreit: Coach Tressel, what’s your impression of your freshman quarterback, Terrelle Pryor?

Tressel: Well I think he has a tremendously bright future in front of him, much like other highly touted freshman from this great university’s past.

Paterno: You mean like this guy?


Tressel: No comment.

Herbstreit: Coach Paterno, how would you describe your coaching staff?

Paterno: Ahh well Kirk, ya know they’re a great bunch of kids.

Herbstreit: But coach, some of your coaches, like Tom Bradley, have been at the school for over 30 years!

Paterno: Ahh that Bradley’s a good egg, he’s gonna have a great career someday.

Herbstreit: Anyway, Coach Tressel, how would you characterize your staff?

Tressel: We’re a team of mavericks, Kirk.

Herbstreit: Moving on…Coach Tressel, what effect do you think the raucous Penn State student section will have on your Buckeyes this Saturday?

Tressel: Kirk, the game is at Ohio State.

Herbstreit: Speculation aside, you have to admit that Penn State’s student section is the best in the nation.

Paterno: Didn’t you play at Ohio State?

Herbstreit: Uhhhh....Coach Tressel, walk us through a game day with you. What's your routine like?

Tressel: Well Kirk, to be honest, I spend most of the day picking out my sweater vest.

Paterno: But you only have two different colors, you ninny!

.

Herbstreit: Coach Paterno, please let Coach Tressel finish.

Tressel: Thank you, Kirk. After I pick out the vest, I just make a couple quick calls to the boosters to make sure the money is being doled out according to... I mean, just to say hello, and then I get ready to fire the guys up.

Herbstreit: And what is your game day routine like, Coach Paterno?

Paterno: Basically I spend all morning trying to crap, then I catch the elevator to the booth for the game.

Herbstreit: Fantastic! Continuing on with you, Joe, what is your opinion of sideline reporters?

Paterno: Well it depends on what she looks like.

Herbstreit: Okay gentlemen, now it's time to take a couple questions from the audience. First up is Dan, from Princeton, New Jersey.

Dan: Coach Tressel, why are you such a smug bastard?

sigh

Herbstreit: Let's move on. Here's Brett from Indiana.

Brett: Coach Paterno, how does this compare to other big games in your past?

Paterno: Well I remember back when I was just starting out as the head coach here we had a big game against, oh, what was that school, the uh Western University of Pennsylvania and it was a big one! We were undefeated and they were undefeated and they had a couple a real good kids. Great buncha players. They had that one fella what was his name, oh yea-

Herbstreit: Thanks Coach. And you Tressel, how does this compare to other big games in your career?

Tressel: Well Kirk, we've been in a lot of big games and we've had a lot of success in those big games so I-

Urban: What's that, Tress?

Tressel: Well we did have that slip up against Florida but that was nothing. We rebounded nicely and ran the table the following season and the-

Les: And then what, Jim?

Tressel: We've been in a lot of big games.

Herbstreit: Well that was awkward. I didn't know you guys were in town. And now for the final question. Coaches, tell me why your team is the best team in the nation. Coach Paterno, we'll start with you.

Paterno: Awww, come on Kirk, I, I'm not gonna waste my time, I mean, that's just a silly, I, I'm not gonna answer that, come on, that's just a waste of time.

Herbstreit: Coach Tressel, your thoughts?

Tressel: Well, I think we do have the best team in the country, Kirk. We have a great defense, and an offense that is learning every week. And what's more, our team has wide-reaching appeal. I've talked to all of our fans, all the hockey moms and Johnny Six Packs and Joe Plumbers out there. And unequivocally they've told me that if you take out the SEC and the Pac-10, we have the best team in this great nation.

Herbstreit: That's just not true, Coach! Let's go PSU!

Paterno (shaking head): Ugh...

Herbstreit: On that note, I think it's about time to wrap things up! Thanks for your time, coaches.

"mmmmmyeeeeeaaah!"

Blame Woot

Dear Readers,

We had a great post planned for mid-day today and we were really close to finishing it, but then we got online this morning and checked out our regularly-visited websites and found out that today is a woot-off day.

Sadly, we will probably spend most of the day buying Sansa media players, Roombas and Bluetooth headsets.

So the post will be up sometime tonight. Thank you.

Management

Game 8 Recap: Penn State 46, Michigan 17

It was a scary start. We were legitimately nervous. But someone forgot to tell Michigan that you have to play two halves of football.

The streak is over.

1st Quarter

The game couldn't have started off worse for the Lions, as Clark couldn't handle an errant snap and fell on the ball for a 16-yard loss. Clark got the ball back near the original line of scrimmage by hitting Deon Butler with a pass, but his next toss was incomplete and it was an early three-and-out.

And then, as if the proverbial light bulb went off above the team's head, Michigan's offense methodically moved the ball down the field. Steven Threet completed three passes during the first five plays of the drive, and then the Wolverines ran the ball nine straight times, none of them going for more than nine yards, but it was enough as Brandon Minor took one in from five to give Michigan the early lead.

0-7

No big deal though, as Penn State went to work. Royster took his first carry of the game for 20 yards, and after an incompletion, Clark scrambled for a first dow..... oh snap.

He's clutching an imaginary ball, apparently.

If we work in the replay booth, PSU never loses the ball.

It was Michigan's ball at their own 44. After an incompletion, Minor busted a huge 36-yard run, as the line was dominated and Scirotto finds out you can't tackle a 215-pound running back around the shoulders.

After a short pass and a couple runs, the drive stalled and Michigan settled for a field goal.

0-10

Before we had time to get all freaked out, Penn State responded. Chaz Powell returned the kickoff to the Penn State 48, Clark hit Williams for an 8-yard completion, and then Royster decided to take one 44 yards to the house.

7-10

On the ensuing kickoff, we experienced the first of many we-can't-catch-a-break moments, as Sam McGuffie fumbled the ball on the return, only to recover it himself when it looked like it would easily be Penn State ball. Dammit.

Michigan didn't waste that gift as they went right to work. After completions by Threet for 21 and 28 yards, the Wolverines had the ball on the Penn State 24 as the first quarter came to a close.

2nd Quarter

It was third and three to start the 2nd quarter, and instead of getting a big stop, the Lions let Threet scurry for a 14-yard pickup and a first down. After two short runs, Minor took it in from one yard out for his second TD of the day.

7-17

Shit.

But again, no worries, surely Penn State would ram the ball down Michigan's throa....oh snap. Three and out.

At right about this point, we had something of this effect running through our heads: "We're down 10 to Michigan, ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod...."

Any other opponent, and we probably don't go into panic mode, but it's funny what a nine-game/12-year losing streak will do to you.

As we silently repeated "the better team will win, the better team will" over and over in our heads, Penn state did what they needed to do on Michigan's next drive and forced a three and out.

The Lions got the ball at their own 31 and tried to make something happen on offense. Clark had three completions on the drive (Butler, Butler and Shuler) mixed in with a 16-yard carry by Royster. But on third and one from the Michigan 27, Clark fumbled the ball and couldn't pick up the first.

Not a problem, Kevin Kelly would get the team within a touchdow...

Clank.

This game was frustrating as hell.

The teams exchanged three and outs and it was Michigan's ball with only 2:53 left in the half. A first down or two and we would be looking at going into halftime down 10.

But just before we started pulling our hair out over that thought, the D stepped up big, stuffing three runs and to set up a punt from Michigan. The punt was downed at the Penn State 26, but a personal foul from the Wolverines moved it up to the 41. Thanks, fellas.

After Clark hit Butler for 17 yards, Royster told the other guys to relax while he put the team on his back.

"I'm gonna need this later."

After runs of 14 and 10 yards, a 3-yard reception, and two more rushes of 5 and 2 yards, the ball was at the Michigan 5 and Royster rightly said, "I'm fucking tired, you guys handle it from here."

So Clark took the reigns and hit Norwood for an absolutely clutch 3-yard touchdown pass. Getting six before the half was HUGE for the team. And our health.

14-17

-Halftime-

Time to listen to every D-bag in the bar talk about how they got tickets to the fourth game of the World Series.
That Phillies hat sure is shiny.

Just kidding, we love Philly people.

3rd Quarter

The first Michigan drive of the third quarter was what we had hoped for. While they gained a few yards, they ended up being forced to punt, thanks in large part to a Maurice Evans sack.

We'd dedicate ourselves to an Evans photoshop, but we don't really care about him anymore.

PSU started the drive at their own 13 and promptly got the ball to Royster. He seemed to be ripping off five or ten yards on every run. He's a beast.

As the drive approached the red zone the passing picked up and the drive sputtered out after three consecutive incompletions. Call out the kicker.

17-17

On the ensuing kick-off Michigan ran the fumble play. Fortunately for them they were able to recover the ball.

This time, Nick Sheridan entered the game at quarterback for Michigan. This was probably not the scenario he had envisioned when he thought about this game during their Wednesday film session.

A holding call on first down backed the Wolverines up to their own 8.
Rich-Rod called 2 straight plays to keep the ball in Sheridan's hand and he was able to get -3 yards.
On third down and just inside their own 5, it was Jared Odrick time.

Put ya' hands up.

19-17

Following the safety and the kick-off being out of bounds, PSU began at the 50.
For some reason, PSU ran the two minute offense, scoring in only 1:35.
A Royster rush of three, Clark to Butler for 25, a Royster run of 21 yards and finally a 1 yard run by Clark to put the ball in end-zone.
The third could not be going any better.

26-17

After the kick-off, Sheridan trotted onto the field.
Three plays later he trotted back off.

4th Quarter

The Lions ran the ball a couple of times and got Kevin Kelly into field goal range where he knocked one down from 32 yards.

29-17

We would like to say we were beginning to feel a little comfortable, but we weren't quite yet. Again, a seemingly infinitely long losing streak will do that to you.

The next Michigan drive was all Aaron Maybin.

On second down, he chased down Minor in the backfield for a loss of 2 yards.
You could say he got stamped.



Following that play, he rescued a kayaker stranded in the Colorado river.


On third down, he got to Threet and forced a fumble.

Abe Koroma recovered at the Michigan 20 and we were finally beginning to feel pretty good.

A quick drive put the Lions in scoring position and Clark ran one in.

36-17

We heard that Michigan got the ball back, but we must have missed it.

Upon getting the ball back, PSU did what they had to do and ate up 6 minutes of game-time with a drive that ended with Kevin Kelly putting one through the uprights.

39-17

Again, Michigan got the ball back but was forced into another three and out.

Penn State came back onto the field with Devlin behind center and all he did was feed the screen pass to Stephfon Green who took it 80 yards for the touchdown. The game had long since been out of reach, but it was great to see that huge play. Nothings better than seeing a couple of second stringers make something big happen.

46-17

Michigan got the ball back and did nothing.

We love it.

Game.

46-17

3 Big Stat Lines

• Evan Royster: 18 carries, 174 yds, 1 TD
  
• Daryll Clark: 18-31, 171 yds, 1 TD
  
• Deon Butler: 8 rec, 105 yds
  

Our Quick Thoughts On The Game:

• The defense started off extremely slow in this one. The D-line was being dominated by a Michigan O-line with very little experience. But the D bounced back big time in the second half.
• Great job by Royster and the line to keep the game close in the first half.
• Needless to say (but we’ll say it anyway) if they start that slowly next weekend, it could be a loooonnnnng game.
• Awesome game from Deon Butler.
• Aaron Maybin didn’t have an outstanding game, but for that one drive in the 4th, he ruled the world.
• Seeing Rich Rodriguez start 2-5 at Michigan means that there is some sort of justice in the world.
• We wish the same could be said for Nick Saban.
• It’s a small sample, but from what we’ve seen, we like Ohio State tailgaters better than Michigan tailgaters.
• Don’t try to go to a bar at night in State College during homecoming. Just stay at home.
• Bring on the sweater vest.
• Tim Cowlishaw just defended the BCS, again.
• We like to make up quotes.
  

Penn State Player of the Game: Evan Royster
He's been rock solid all year, but in this game, he was an absolute beast. His huge gains early on had us asking why we weren't running the ball more, and his touchdown run and work on the scoring drive before the half kept the game from getting out of hand early. He was great in the second half too, picking up yards in huge chunks, as well as first downs in key situations. Another sick yards-per-carry number as well. In a year where he's done so much already, Royster just continues to impress. We're all looking at an elite college running back.

Michigan Player of the Game: RB Brandon Minor

He didn't quite have a Royster-like performance, but it was a fine game from Minor overall. We were expecting to see McGuffie from the start, but it was the junior Minor who came out and ran over the Penn State defense early on. This guy is a bruiser and had some impressive runs Saturday night. Unfortunately for him, Penn State started to figure out the zone read and actually shed some blocks as the game went on, and Minor was a non-factor in the second half. Still, a nice job.