Top 5 Reasons The NBA Sucks

If you're thinking, "Why is a Penn State football blog writing about the NBA," well, we can't say we blame you. But it's bye week, there's little going on with the team, we're bored and we like Top 5 lists. If you hate the NBA- and if you're a college football fan, we think there's a relatively good chance that you do- consider this a break from having to read Bill Simmons' 7,500-word columns on how great it is.

5. The game is a side act to the player introductions.
There's more choreography in NBA pregame introductions than there is in a Chad Johnson end zone celebration (before this season anyway). We wish the players would use the effort they put into elaborate handshake routines into actually running on the court.

Is this really necessary?

4. The end of the game is the most boring part of the game.
You may be saying, "That's the case in any sport, if it's a blowout." And therein lies the rub: the NBA is actually less boring in a blowout then it is in a 5-point game down the stretch. Unless the score is within 3 points, the last 2 minutes is all fouling, free throws and timeouts and goes on for about half an hour. That's just an inherently dumb problem, and there's no getting around it.

3. No one plays defense. Ever.
Don't even try to argue against this. Watch a college basketball game and see how the team plays defense. Then watch an NBA game, and take note of how many open 3s guys get, because defenders are all too lazy to run out and get a hand in the shooter's face. People talk about great defenders in the NBA all the time, but don't buy into this; the "great" defenders just play less-crappy D than the average guys. Defense in the NBA is a total farce. And that's that.

Nice D, losers.

2. They refuse to play back to back nights in the playoffs.
Come on, ladies. High school kids play multiple games in a day sometimes during holiday tournaments. You're world-class athletes and you can't suck it up and play two nights in a row? How many nights off would these guys need if they stopped loafing around and actually played? Three? Five?

1. The pro basketball championship pales in comparison to the college basketball championship.
Hey, there are a lot of reasons why the NBA sucks, but how can you top this one? In what other sport is the college championship noticeably more exciting, more popular and flat-out better than it's pro counterpart? Ummm, none. The college tournament is great: 64 teams, 2 and a half weeks, you fuck up once and you're gone. The NBA? 16 teams over about two months (seems more like five) and all the excitement of a 2-hour history class on a Friday afternoon.

Bonus: Stephen A. Smith is prominently involved in the analysis of the sport.

"I LOVE THE UNIVERSITY OF PENN STATE, HOWWW-EVAHH, THIS BLOG IS TERR-A-BULL!" -Stephen A. Smith

Thank you, Stephen A.