Game 6 Recap: Penn State 20, Purdue 6

Actual text message conversation between WWTL writers (pfffft) during the game:

Greg, 1:11 pm: This game is poop.
Will, 1:12 pm: Agreed.

Hey, sometimes you win ugly. This was one of those times. Unlike Wisconsin, we know how to do that. Recap time.

1st Quarter

Joe was in the booth to start the game. The announcers say he was trying to demonstrate an onside kick in practice this week. That sounds like a really horrible idea.

The Lions kicked off to start the game. Purdue did little on their first possession, despite a 17-yard run by Curtis Painter that made us want to pull our hair out. After that play, running back Korey Sheets got stuffed and Painter threw two incompletions. Penn State ball.

The drive started well, as Clark immediately hit Williams for a 15-yard gain, and Royster followed it up with a 16-yard carry. Clark then hit Williams on a 9-yard pass. The next two plays would begin the frustration that we would feel on offense all day. Clark's attempted pass to Butler on second down was incomplete, and then Royster was stuffed on 3rd and 1. A promising drive ends in disappointing fashion.

After Boone popped one in the end zone, Purdue put together one of the weirder drives of the season, as they charged 10 plays for only 25 yards. Kory Sheets could do nothing on the drive, and Painter was sacked on a third and 2, and Purdue was forced to punt again.

It was deja-vu for the Lions on the ensuing possession as Royster picked up 9 yards on a rush on first down, but Williams and Royster were both stuffed on runs on second and third downs. Another punt.

Purdue got the ball on the 50 to start its next possession, and they continued to plod along with short completions and runs for basically no gain. The most boring quarter of football ever recorded ended with a third and 8 for Purdue on the Lions 25.

Trust us, it's growing.

2nd Quarter

Luckily, Aaron Maybin felt it necessary to sack Painter to start the 2nd quarter, which set up a 45-yard field goal for Chris Summers.

Wide right.

Penn State got the ball back and went to work. Clark completed passes to Butler and Williams, and Royster capped four straight rush plays with a 23-yard gain. After an incompletion and a 3-yard Royster run, Clark absolutely threaded one to Graham Zug on third and 7 for a 16-yard gain. It was first and goal from the 5.

Of course, Williams lost 2 yards on a carry after he slipped trying to change direction. This would be a running subplot throughout the day, as ESPN even showed a montage of Penn State players falling over. Never a good thing. Clark nearly fell over on the next play but managed to scoot a few yards forward to the 1. Dan Lawlor tried to make the leap on third down, but he did not get in. Clark appeared to try to sneak in on fourth down, but whistles had blown, requesting a review on the third down play.

We have no idea why this happened, because the third down play really wasn't close, but it worked out in our favor because we're not sure Clark got in on his sneak attempt. He did get in on his next try though. Finally on the board.

We're so pissed off it took this long, we're not even going to look for a picture.

7-0

Purdue got the ball back and tried to even the score. Sheets finally gained positive yardage, with runs of 5 and 16 yards to start off the drive. Painter had three completions, but the drive stalled as he got dropped for a rush of -2 yards at the Penn State 19. Surely Chris Summers could nail a 36-yard field goal, right?

NOPE. Wide left.

There was 3:41 left in the half, and Penn State wanted more points. Clark got locked in and threw 5 completions, with a couple runs scattered in between. The last completion went to Royster for 18 yards and it got the Lions to the Purdue 5-yard line. Then the team decided to rewind to 2006 and 2007 and not put up 6 in the red zone. Clark threw an incompletion, Cadogan took a false start penalty, Clark threw another incompletion, and Royster slipped and fell after a short pass from Clark. Fantastic. Kelly booted one home to mercifully end the half.

10-0

This is what it's come to? Photos of kickers?

-Halftime-

3rd Quarter

Penn State received the kickoff and put together another underwhelming drive to start the 3rd. Clark threw two completions for two first downs, but after two short gains by Royster, Clark couldn't hit Williams on third and 4. Punt.

On Purdue's drive, Kory Sheets ripped off another impressive 1-yard run, and Painter's attempt on third down was no good, and Purdue punted again. Really, a thrilling game.

Yawn

This time, though, the Lions wouldn't be stopped. They started on their own 39, but Clark hit Williams for 19 on first down. Royster had two carries for 10 and 12 yards, and Penn State had the ball on Purdue's 20. Clark was sacked for a loss of 5 and then rushed for a loss of 2, but hit Butler (who made a brilliant catch) for a clutch gain of 23 on third and 17. Royster decided he'd had enough of the team's bullshit attempt at offense today and took it in untouched from 4 yards out.

You guys are terrible.

17-0

Purdue drove for five plays and 29 before they had to punt. Stephfon Green had a couple nice rushes on Penn State's next drive, but they would punt after six plays. Purdue started their next drive on their own 7 yard line and just when it looked like they had some things going, Painter tossed an interception to Drew Astorino, who returned the ball all the way to the Purdue 30.

On a scale of 1 to 10, through three quarters, Painter was a solid -4.

A couple plays and the quarter was over.

4th Quarter

We rejoiced at the start of the 4th as we realized there was only 15 more minutes of this travesty remaining.

Clark hit Royster with a pass for a 23-yard gain, down to Purdue's 4-yard line. And as was the custom on this day, Penn State couldn't put it home from short yardage. An incompletion and 2 rushes for 1 yard brought on Kevin Kelly. It's up and good.

20-0
This is the worst we've ever felt after being up 20-0.

Joe Tiller obviously grades his QBs on the same scale we do, because he lifted Painter for Joey Elliot to start Purdue's next drive. And believe it or not, it worked. Purdue put together a very methodical 14-play, 82-yard drive to put up their first touchdown of the day, a 1-yard run by Sheets, a play after Eliot hit Desmond Tardy for a 19-yard gain on fourth and 10. Nice job by him.

20-7
Oh wait....

Chris Summers wanted to get rid of any chance of getting laid last night, and he did so by missing the extra point. Horrible day for that guy.

Are you kidding me?

20-6

Luckily for everyone, the third drive of the fourth quarter would be the last one. Royster went to work and had 3 rushes for 38 yards to start the drive. Green followed it up with an 8-yard rush, but Clark was sacked for a loss of 9. Clark found Royster on a screen on third and 11, and the dumbass ref gave the Lions the worst spot in the history of the game. Luckily, Clark sneaked it ahead on fourth and 1 and Penn State ran out the clock.

Game.
20-6

3 Big Stat Lines

• Evan Royster: 18 carries, 141 yds, 1 TD (rushing); 4 rec., 53 yds (receiving)
  
• Daryl Clark: 18-26, 220 yds (passing); 1 TD (rushing)
  
• Josh Hull: 11 tackles, 2 TFL
  

Our Quick Thoughts On The Game:

• There are always games like this in a season, you just have to be happy to get the win.
  
• It was boring as shit though.
• 4 scores on 4 red zone trips, but all 4 should've been touchdowns.
• Josh Hull responded nicely to the criticism.
• D did a nice job on the Purdue passing game. Longest pass completion for Painter was 25 yards, and Purdue had only 158 pass yards as a whole.
• Everyone was slipping out there.
• Royster was great as usual. The guy is consistent.
• We can't believe we're saying this, but we think more run plays should've been called in certain situations. Purdue's run D was non-existent and Royster was destroying people out there.
• Man would we love to see Norwood suit up next week.
  
• First huge game coming up.
  

Penn State Player of the Game: Evan Royster
Through five games, no one has come close to stopping Royster, and Saturday's game was no exception. Royster racked up 141 yards on only 18 carries, good for a 7.8 yards per carry average. If he has another game like this against Wisconsin next weekend, screw giving him mention within the conference, he should be getting some national pub. If you still think Beanie Wells and Javon Ringer are superior, good for you, but we feel just fine with Royster lining up in the backfield.

Purdue Player of the Game: Kicker Chris Summers
Not really.